Dear Diary
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: When Shane is diagnosed with cancer, what will Claire do? What will they all do to the life changing.news? How will they make his life the best in his months remaining? Diary form. R
1. Chapter 1

**Written for MarshmallowStarfish – this time, it **_**will**_** stay Shane/Claire…**

**The rest of you sharks who love Shane/Claire… this **_**will**_** stay Shane/Claire… it just may get a bit depressing…**

**I don't own anything besides the plotline…**

**It's my first attempt at a diary – I can't be bothered to keep one myself, so I don't do diary entries – so sorry if it isn't how it should be.**

_Claire's POV:_

I can't believe this has happened. I can't believe I am standing here, clothed in black, and alone.

I pick up my diary and begin to leaf through it, trying to find every memory of him possible. So I start… I start right at the beginning of all the problems…

_**Sunday 24**__**th**__** April 2011**_

_Dear diary,_

It's happening.

The destruction of my life.

The destruction of my happiness has begun, and it all started today.

Shane had been under the weather recently, always with a cold or lethargic, but he didn't want to go to the doctor.

"Claire, I can't afford to go and be told I have a cold, something I already know!" he insisted whenever I brought it up. He wouldn't listen to me, or Eve or even Michael, but he never listens to Michael since he turned vamp.

Yet when the cold/illness reached the fifth month and it was getting worse and worse, he finally relented. He agreed to go and see Dr Mills at Accident and Emergency **(E.R)** just because if he didn't, work would fire him. it hurt me slightly that he wouldn't go because I was worried for him, just that if he didn't get his illness sorted out, he wouldn't have a job anymore.

Still, he was going and that was all that mattered. So I went with him down to the hospital and Dr Mills met us in the A&E, taking Shane into a cubicle to look him over.

"Physically, you are in great shape," the good doctor said, evidently baffled. "But I can't see why you have had the same cold for five months – it should last six weeks at a maximum. I need to run some bloods, to check something out," he continued, and Shane exchanged a worried and panic stricken look with me. _I can't afford tonnes of bloods_, the look told me, and I knew that, of course, his health would boil down to money.

"How much do they cost?" he asked Dr Mills, trying to hide the edge of panic in his voice.

"I can do them for $25, just because of you, Claire," he responded unsurely, taking a cursory glance at my bracelet to show just who would be paying… yay, another favour from Amelie, I thought at the time. Now, now I am glad that I took this contract, if it meant that Shane could get the bloods. **(a/n… this is why I am SO glad I am English and have the NHS!)**

So he drew the blood and took it away for analysis whilst Shane and I just waited in the waiting room, unsure what to do. We couldn't leave because we didn't know when Dr Mills would return, but we didn't have anything to do. So we just sat together, hand in hand, until he returned with the gravest face I have ever seen. We knew then that it couldn't be good.

"You have cancer," he gave it to Shane straight, knowing that he would accept it better than if he gave him a load of science waffle.

I, on the other hand, couldn't react in such a way. I still can't believe that Shane has cancer, to be honest.

"No, he has a cold – flu at the worst – so how does he have _cancer_?" I exploded; feeling Shane's hand tense on my own as I _mega_ overreacted. But I had to – I didn't know how he could have cancer!

I looked over at Shane who had his head bent over, as if he was actually believing the doctor…. I knew I should do, that he wouldn't lie and say _surprise, I was joking_, but I couldn't. I couldn't accept that Shane was going to die.

He would leave me.

"I'm afraid it's true, Claire, Shane, I hate to break it to you," Dr Mills said, and he sounded truly apologetic. He didn't want to be the one breaking the news to us that Shane has cancer, but he had to be. "It is much more severe than we would have liked… I'm afraid that only strong chemotherapy and radiotherapy programmes will have the slightest effect on the tumour… it is too dangerous to remove it, because it is spreading from his torso to his brain, but we hope that intensive treatment will reduce it enough to lengthen your-" he said before Shane cut him off.

"How long do I have left?" he asked bluntly, no emotion inflicting his voice – that's just what shows how he is really shaken, really stirred by what is happening.

"If you take the treatment, maybe three or four years," Dr Mills hesitated before explaining his short life… that was with the treatment as well…

"And if I chose to let it go ahead without treatment?" Shane queried, and I could hear the fear in his voice. I tightened my grip on his hand and looked sideways at him, so anxious for him – if he was worried about the money, then I couldn't bear that: I mean, we can afford it if it is for his _life_.

"Then you have three or four months," the doctor revealed quietly, evidently not wanting to share this. "But the chemo, the therapy, it means that you have an extra lease of life…" he pressed, not for the monetary side of it but just for me to be with Shane – I know that!

Shane shook his head and stood up, wrenching his hand out of mine. "For four years of slowly getting weaker in hospital?" he said rhetorically. "I'd rather live my time out at home, without feeling awful from the therapy… I'm going now. Claire, are you coming?" he continued, walking to the door and through it without another word.

I glanced back at the doctor who looked as if he expected this. "Claire, I am so sorry… it's so awful that he has this. I shall have the specialist give you a call…" he said as I darted out of the door after Shane.

"Shane, wait!" I called after his retreating figure, barely able to catch up with him because he was moving so fast. Finally, he stopped by the dark corner which I always associated with vampire visitors (normally the hospital doesn't get that many) and turned back to me, his eyes filled with tears.

As soon as I reached him, I wrapped him in a huge hug, comforting him as much as possible. "Honey, it will be ok," I tried to comfort him but I didn't believe the words. He was dying – he _is_ dying! How can he be ok?

He shook his head before walking away with me under his arm. We climbed into the car and we came back here, to the Glass House, which was still empty – thankfully. I doubt that he could even begin to explain what is going on; it's still going around in my head. I can't believe, I really can't, that he is dying. He is going to leave me because he doesn't want the treatment!

If that is because he can't afford it, I think I will kill him myself.

But now my world is crashing down around me; only this _morning_, we were happy together. Now, we're on borrowed time – until he dies, we're happy. And that could be six months, four months, or even tomorrow. We don't know.

What do I do?

_Claire_

**Sad, right? **

**I swear the story will get better… I just had to set the scene and stuff – I have some good, but rather depressing, things that can happen xD**

**Please review!**

**I'll try and update soon **

**Vicky xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**So thank you so much for the reviews xD I hope you enjoy the next entry.**

**It's a little shorter but it's cause it's continuing from the last one, sort of, and I have to get up early tomorrow for A STUPID MATHS REVISION DAY WHICH WILL HAVE NO PURPOSE WHATSOEVER **

**Oh yeah, and it doesn't really fit with the books because Myrnin is cured but Sam is alive xD**

**I forgot to say last chapter, that the time of the diary entry was 7pm.**

_**Sunday 24**__**th**__** April 2011 – 11pm**_

So now Michael and Eve now know about Shane. I'm not sure if he meant to tell them exactly, but they know… well, I sort of accidentally revealed it.

I went downstairs after writing the last entry and I was obviously upset – I mean, Shane is _dying_, for god's sake – but I sat down on the sofa and wrapped myself up in the throw and placed my head on Shane's pillow. It's hard enough with him just upstairs, so how am I going to cope when he isn't here anymore?

But, yeah, I was sat there and then Shane came down and he didn't look so good – not in the whole 'I have cancer' way, but just the way that you are when you've received bad news and you don't have anyone to help you through it.

"Claire," he said my name and it was so full of emotion and fear that I sat up instantly and wiped the tears from my eyes – I need to be strong for him in this time, rather than him being strong for me.

"Come here," I whispered to him, lifting the throw up for him to join me, which he does. I curled into his side whilst his arms wrapped around me, pulling me in closer to him.

"I love you, Claire," he told me something I already knew, I already know, again as his lips pressed to my forehead. I could feel the wetness of his tears sliding down my face and I knew that he wasn't ok with everything that's going on. "I just can't believe that-" he cut off as soon as the door opened, Michael and a slightly tipsy Eve walking through and interrupting whatever heartfelt thing he was going to say.

"Hello, lovers," Eve said with a grin as she came in. Although we tried desperately to hide the tears, as soon as she came over, the grin faded and she became entirely sober and concerned. "Guys, what's going on? Who died?" she asked, and the mention of death just set me off again.

Shane comforted me as I sobbed, something which I didn't want because it should have been _me_ comforting _him_. He's the one who has cancer, for crying out loud! But this sort of alerted Michael and Eve even further that something was wrong because as soon as I stopped crying – well sobbing, I was still crying – they tried to force the answer out of me.

I exchanged a look with Shane; I couldn't tell _his_ problem! So what I did was I shrugged and waited to see what Shane would do – he was sort of tricked into it, but I couldn't tell them.

He took a deep breath before talking. "I need to tell you guys something," he said quietly, barely able to be heard. "We went to the hospital today and, well, Dr Mills did some tests… and they found… they found… I have cancer… and I have about four months left," he admitted, tears slipping out of his eyes as he admitted his problem.

Eve and Michael reacted with shock and horror, unable to believe it until I confirmed it with my nodding. "Oh god, Shane, can't they do anything?" Michael asked, going down the route I wanted to debate with Shane – about taking therapy for it.

"They can but it wouldn't lengthen my life by long," Shane shrugged, deciding that _four years_ wasn't a long time.

"B-but surely some extra time is better than… four months?" Eve suggested through a tear choked voice, shaking with the effort to keep the tears in. Michael wrapped her arm around her as I snuggled closer to Shane – who didn't look sick whatsoever. He just looked his normal Shane self… that's how it is so hard to admit that he is ill.

"I don't want to spend that time in hospital; whatever time I have left, I'd rather spend it in good quality and at home with you guys. That'd be better than four years of being sick and spending the entire time in hospital or bed," his voice shook as he said this, and I tightened my grip on him to make him feel, well not better because how _could_ I make him feel better when we know he is dying?

Michael could accept that, and although Eve couldn't, she didn't say anything.

For the rest of the night we sat together in silence, but all the while I was making a list, a list of things for Shane to do before he… dies. Here it is:

Tell Oliver to stuff it

Sneak into Amelie's house and steal some of her clothes

Tell Myrnin that Oliver loves him

Tell Oliver that Myrnin loves him

Have a party and tell Monica she isn't invited

Go to the university and pretend to be a student and then go to the help desk and shout at them for not being on the list.

Sneak into the vampire archives and grab some of the vampire books before telling Amelie that Oliver did it.

Dancing naked in the middle of Founder's Square in the middle of the day.

Going up to one of the vampires and telling them that you know what they did.

Telling Sam that Michael died just to grab him when he comes into the house and tell him that Michael was lying.

I have so many more ideas, but I just want them to be all so humorous – I want his last months to be really happy and for everything to be perfect: he will get a pass off on vampire attacks because he is dying – at least with some of the things on the list he needs it!

I just hope that I can make him happy in this time… as if I don't, then I think I will have failed…

… and I can't live my life thinking I failed him when he needed me…

**If you have any other things for Shane to do in his last months, leave them in a review.**

**Vicky xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, you get an update every day that it is possible for me to update: this story is hopefully going to be finished by mid-may at the latest, as that is when my exams start (Monday 16****th**_**argh**_**) so I want to get at least a couple of stories done by then XD**

**Oh, and Claire still has Amelie's bracelet xD**

**Thanks to Luvdavamps for an awesome idea, and also BlackSapphire96 as well for another crazy funny idea xD**

_**Wednesday 27**__**th**__** April 2011 – 11:45pm**_

_Dear Diary,_

Today, Shane went to the hospital and told them that he didn't want to take the route of treatment, that he would rather… die. I didn't go with him because I didn't think I would be able to cope with it, hearing him confirm that he wasn't going to fight it with drugs – he is just going to succumb to the cancer. I can't blame him: I'm not the one who is dying, so I can't judge him for what he wants. In a way… it's almost better. We can do all these crazy things together and be able to pretend that everything is normal – if he was in hospital, I wouldn't be able to pretend.

Whilst he was there, I went to university. I didn't know what else to do, and we're trying to be normal - as normal as we can be, if Shane is dying. So Eve went to work and Michael just slept as he does during the day normally and I, I went to school. I didn't learn anything new – I never do – but it gave me a sense of normality which nagged at the pit of my stomach. This is normal now, knowing Shane is here, but soon he isn't going to be – soon, I'm never going to be able to see him again. Shouldn't we be together as much as possible? I know he is quitting his job as soon as school ends… which is earlier than normal.

As soon as I arrived at the campus this morning, Sam was waiting in the shadows. It was a while since I had seen him, as he was recuperating from Bishop but I didn't associate it with Shane – I never thought that Amelie would already know Shane was dying. I know I haven't told her and I haven't even told Myrnin yet, so he couldn't have spragged to her. That is going to be a fun conversation, telling Myrnin I want four months off. Then again, he was in love with Ada – surely he will know just how hard it is to say goodbye.

But yeah, Sam was there and he gave me a letter from Amelie before just disappearing without a word – sudden, but it gave me a chance to read the letter. I've copied it up here, just incase anything happens to it:

_Claire,_

_I have heard about Shane's condition and would like to offer my most sincere condolences. I know that this is not of any use for you, therefore I have decided to ensure the University passes you this year, meaning you can depart after the May Bank Holiday on May 2__nd__. I have also enclosed a bracelet for Shane with my Protection, for free, for his time… I can only assume what crazy and most likely idiotic stunts you shall be partaking in, so I felt it best to ensure your survival with his Protection. I shall ensure that Oliver knows to not be, ahhh, _violent_ if any 'pranks' are pulled on him; something which I am assuming will happen._

_You, however, shall have to arrange the situation with Myrnin: I have no desire to listen to his complaining regarding my interference for the next millennia._

_Once again, this is a travesty and should never happen to anyone, let alone one so young. _

_Amelie_

So I finish school next Monday and can spend the entire with Shane, which is something off my mind. I know I would never have finished the year, so it's a good thing Amelie has made sure I pass – although I already know physics beyond the last year at school – as otherwise I wouldn't be able to finish my degree.

When I got home, Shane was here and he was just staring at the television screen, shooting down zombies or whatever he does on the games machine – I think he was waiting for me because as soon as I entered he threw the console aside and came to give me one of the biggest kisses ever. It's as if we are on borrowed time and we have to get everything in as soon as possible… including practise for the goodbye kiss.

"So, have you any ideas what crazy ass stunts we're going to be doing in this dusty town?" Shane said with a twinkle in his eyes as he strapped the bracelet enclosed in the letter on after reading the letter three times to make sure there wasn't a condition to wear Amelie's symbol.

"Well, I made a list," I grinned before reciting everything off that I had. It isn't a lot and I can only hope that I can be able to persuade Amelie to let us leave town in a couple of months so that we can travel – Shane has so much left to see of the world and I want him to see everything possible. Whether or not she will give me a loan is an entirely different matter, but Shane dying ought to allow her to let us leave – I will come back…

"Let me grab my coat," Shane laughed, not actually telling me which one he wanted to do, but just showing that he did want to do something, that my ideas weren't absolute tosh. "I have an idea that I want to do first – I never dared to before, as Eddie is the only cab driver, but I may as well now," he explained as he returned, evidently having one of his own ideas to use rather than mine – but it was his time, not mine.

So I stood up and we walked out of the door, luckily flailing Eddie as he passed, not doing anything whatsoever. Shane took his time getting in the taxi for some strange reason until a car that I recognised but couldn't identify _how_ passed, and he screamed, "_You have to follow that car_!"

Eddie, of course, looked absolutely stunned until he saw the bracelet on Shane's wrist, showing his impending death – it isn't a normal bracelet. It's like the ones from the hospital but it's black and shows how he doesn't have long left.

"Kid, you have no idea how long I have wanted someone to ask to do this," Eddie chuckled as he followed the car down yet _another_ road, picking up speed as it did. Finally, the car came to a halt and the disgruntled occupant – Richard Morrell, _that's_ why I knew it – stepped out and over to the taxi.

"Eddie, _why_ are you- oh, it's those two," Richard said, seeing Shane and I in the back and understanding instantly. Well, he didn't know about Shane dying but just us two being there explained why this was happening to him. "I should be having strict words with you two but I'm in a lenient mood and the entire chase was quite funny. Just don't do it again," he amazingly let us off before returning to his car without a word, although I could have sworn I heard a chuckle making it's way back to us.

"Anywhere else, kids?" Eddie asked, laughing still as the absurdity of what we had done evidently hit him.

"Deveno's please, Eddie," Shane surprised me by saying – why was he taking me to the most expensive restaurant in town, I wondered. But I didn't say anything, just looked at him in surprise. He pulled me in closer to his side and pressed his lips to my forehead before whispering, "It's a surprise – don't ask."

So I didn't. I let him take me to Deveno's where Eddie refused to let us pay for our _long_ taxi ride around town. I let him take me inside, which was miraculously empty and something I didn't understand until he explained that he went here after the hospital and bought the place out. That he would do something like that was extraordinary and I didn't understand it until he said:

"Claire… this has really got me thinking about stuff, and the fact that I have so much to do and so little time to do it in… but Claire, I love you and I want you so much… I know I'm not going to be around for much longer but I want to be able to be with you forever, even when you move on… so, what I'm trying to say is… Claire, will you marry me?"

I couldn't actually believe it; I believed it even less as he moved around the table and knelt on his left knee, producing a blue velvet box which contained the most perfect ring ever – the ring which is now on my finger. It's silver – a protective thing in this town – and has a little diamond on the front and is _absolutely perfect_!

"You've been thinking about this for a long time," I said, stalling the perfect moment so that it would last even longer. He shrugged and nodded in agreement, so I felt it was time to put him out of his misery – as much as possible. "Honey, I would _love_ to marry you!" I squealed, and then the band began to play, showing just why he had bought the place out – so it was entirely our own as we made the plan to make this commitment to one another.

"I love you so much, Claire, and I was probably going to do this soon anyway – I've had the ring a long time; I've been waiting…" he began, before stopping. Pain was evident in his eyes as he accepted that he doesn't have long left, so I put a finger over his lips to stop him from talking.

"We're going to have a right laugh these months, ok?" I told him, tears welling him my eyes as he took the hand from his mouth and slid the ring on my ring finger. "I am going to make you the most hated man to the vampires in town… well, unless you already have that crown," I laughed, and he couldn't help himself as he snorted.

"I think my Dad got that – best to keep it in the family, after all," he joked, standing up and pulling me up with him. I leant into him and pressed my head against his chest, so happy already that we are going to get married and I can be with him forever, in a sense. "Come on, shall we go share the news with our friends?" he suggested after what seemed like both an age and a second at the same time.

"Might as well," I sighed, pretending as if it wasn't a big deal. It was.

I spent the next three hours showing Eve my ring, making plans for what will be the happiest day of my life. The entire time, Shane and Michael killed zombies – what a surprise! But then we all went to bed, and here I am, writing this whilst Shane is in the shower – it's been a truly perfect day.

Just a shame that it's borrowed time.

Claire

**So, what do you think of this chapter?**

**I got both ideas in here xD**

**Please review!**

**Vicky xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**I really like that you are all enjoying the story xD**

**I hope that it isn't too depressing, as I have loads of ideas (shared in chapter 2) to write and I didn't plan on them being depressing… and I have to write the wedding xD**

* * *

_**Monday 2**__**nd**__** May – 11pm:**_

Today was _amazing_. And when I say amazing, I mean _amazing_. It was my last day of school for this year, but I didn't go as no classes were running! So I got the day off and so spent it with Shane. He finished work yesterday, so he had nothing to do but spend time with me.

If I was clever, I would have suggested that we planned our wedding together, since we had to get married within a month or two, but I didn't. In its place, I recommended that we begin the list of things _not_ to do in Morganville if you want to survive… or don't have Amelie's Protection, either one there.

"So, what shall we do?" he asked me, his hands running down my back in a way that made me want to kiss him again. Instead, I simply sipped my coffee and smiled at him in a way that must have made him quite nervous.

I told Myrnin yesterday that I wanted a sabbatical for four months, and he agreed instantly. I didn't even have to play the Ada card to get him to agree, he just… did.

"_Come back when you are ready – I will pay you for the next six months," _he said to me, making me feel guilty inside that I had worried that he would overreact and refuse. He is my friend and I shouldn't have doubted him…

"I think," I began slowly, thinking _which_ thing to begin with. "That we ought to go to Common Grounds and tell Oliver to stuff it before then checking the timetable for the days he is working," I suggested, but he didn't understand the last part.

"The first part sounds great but why would we be bothered about when he is working?" Shane asked me, confused.

"Because the night he is working, we tell a bunch of the college students that there is a party in Common Grounds and that there is a competition going around that the first one to kiss Oliver will win something," I grinned and he laughed, evidently happy with this plan. It's times like this that I can't see _how_ he is dying… he's just Shane.

"That, my dear lovely fiancée, is a _brilliant_ idea!" he complimented me, and I basked in his compliment. "I can't believe I didn't think of doing that before! After all, I always wanted to know if he was gay or not – I guess we'll find out!" he continued, kissing my forehead with hot and perfect lips, which only tasted of him – perfection!

So I grabbed my bag and we ran out of the house for 10am, knowing that Oliver was working today – it would be a great bonus if he was pulling a double tonight! As we walked over, I was already designing the invite for the kids at the school to be invited to the party of the century – dressing up as vampires in this town! It most certainly wasn't seasonal, what with it being around Easter, but it would work, especially for what we wanted it to do.

I am going to be hated by the vamps once Shane has gone, but I don't care. If it means that he can have a good time for these last months, I will take whatever they throw at me. Amelie will protect me, and Michael and probably Myrnin as we're friends.

We headed to Common Grounds and I sat down whilst Shane gave our order – unfortunately, it was the barrista, and not Oliver. Whilst he did that, I finished my advert, only needing the confirmation of the date to put on the flyer for the kids. Then I can send it out to them: I have my evil ways of getting it to every _non_ Morganville native student in a flash – it involved hacking. We don't want Morganville kids involved incase it goes screwed up or they sprag on the party to Oliver – that would sorta be against the point!

"So, when is he working?" I asked Shane, who came back with a grin on his face.

"Tonight, till closing," he grinned before shutting up when the girl brought our drinks over. As soon as she left, he continued. "So, do you think it would work for tonight?"

"May as well; I'll send the flyers out now," I laughed, typing in today's date before clicking save before send to all of the students at TPU, barring the Morganville natives. That included myself; well, I didn't particularly want an email, anyway.

So we chilled, drinking one cup of coffee until Oliver _finally_ emerged from his office. This was when we pounced.

"Ollipop!" Shane called, and his head turned in our direction with a frightening speed. His face was hard and cold, but he smiled at us with an evil glint in his eyes.

"If you call me that again, I shall compel you into my office and snap your neck, _unprotected_," he snapped at us, but Shane simply grinned triumphantly. He lifted his wrist and Oliver's face fell dramatically as he saw Shane's bracelet before recovering with a vengeance. "Ahhh, so this is some sort of attack for your last months, Shane? Well, call me 'Ollipop' again and it _will_ be the last thing you do," he continued, but Shane simply laughed.

"What about Ollie?" he suggested with a grin in his voice – it was strange to hear, but if you weren't looking at him you would be able to tell he was grinning. "And what about if I call you… _he wet himself_!" he laughed before throwing the coffee all over Oliver's trousers, just as people arrived in the café. Of course, pale trousers show coffee spillages on it _extremely_ easily and people tittered as soon as they saw him, frozen to the spot in shock. It must have been the first time in decades, if ever, that he had had coffee thrown over him and he couldn't get out of there fast enough – especially as it looked as if he _had_ wet himself!

"You will pay," he hissed before walking away as if he had pooed himself as well, which was a distinctively possible reality, if the grimaces from the nearby vampires at the smell were anything to go by.

"That was fun!" Shane responded, taking my hand as we stood up to leave.

From here, we went home and dug out our vampire costumes – the stereotypical Transylvanian ones with the capes and the _extremely_ white faces – just as Eve came upstairs and wondered what we were doing.

"Olliepop is hosting a party in Common Grounds tonight for college students and they have to dress as vamps," I explained, whilst Shane almost wet _himself_ at the promise of a shocked and angry Oliver. "And the students are going to be fighting one another to kiss him – the first one to do so will get a surprise!" I continued and she cracked herself up.

"I guess that _you_ two have organised this, not Oliver?" she confirmed and I nodded before bursting into huge bouts of laughter, which brought Michael up.

"Are you serious?" he said, having evidently heard what we were doing from downstairs. We all nodded and he cracked up himself. "Then we had _better_ take the camera! I want to be able to remember this _forever_! And I am _so_ getting one of those capes out… Eve, get the chalk white powder you have, we need to get you guys sorted properly out," he continued once he had recovered, already darting through to his room to dig out his own vampire costume. That was pretty ironic, a vampire finding his costume and we all cracked up again until we only had about half an hour before the party started!

Shane helped me apply my makeup and put my fake fangs in, whilst I did his. I think he looked pretty hot, especially when I put the purple lipstick on his lips to make them stand out even more against his then pale skin.

We all met up down in the living room and I realised Shane had gone _way_ overboard on my make up, when both Eve and Michael looked stunned at how white I was. I was actually whiter than the women of the Tudor time, who _wanted_ to _always_ look this white: I think I was actually whiter than a vampire was naturally!

We climbed into Michael's car and all headed down to the café, which seemed mid-rave by the time we got there; absolutely perfect for what we wanted! We slipped in just as 'Circle the Drain' by Katy Perry came on, and people began dancing like crazy. Carefully, the four of us bypassed the hastily made dance floor and smiled as if we belonged; ignoring the murderous glances the _real _vampires who were sat around the sides were giving us. Every single college student had worn Transylvanian style vampire clothes so we fitted right in, although I think we had the most makeup on out of anyone.

We reached the counter and every one of us laughed our socks off when we saw the harassed looking Oliver. He was the only one serving so he had to put up with come on after come on from both girls and boys, all evidently aiming to score one with the grumpy vampire who looked like a hippie.

"Come on, you know you want to kiss me," a girl with long blonde hair and a set of fake fangs in her mouth shouted at him over the music.

"No, I _really_ don't," he replied sharply. "Next!" he yelled, and then the same thing happened again, only the girl was brunette. We watched this happen fifteen times before the queue died away and he pulled his phone out to call someone.

"Who is he calling?" I asked Michael who replied, "Amelie. He wants reinforcements to get out of here, I'm guessing."

"Amelie, you _have_ to send some people down to Common Grounds: the college students are dressed as _vampires_ and took over my café – they're _partying_, Amelie. And, for some strange reason, _every single one of them wants to kiss me_!" he screeches the last bit, but I get the feeling that whatever Amelie is saying, it isn't of comfort to him. "What? Why won't you send anyone down? This is a huge problem…" he continued, before hanging the phone up in disgust.

By this time, we had managed to get to counter and he looked at us, not recognising us instantly. "Before _any_ of you ask, I do _not_ want to be kissed… wait, Michael, what are you-? Ahhh, Shane, Claire and Eve. It's you. What do you want?" he started and then recognised us through Michael; I knew he shouldn't have come.

"Just wanted to see how my dear friend, _he wet himself_, was getting on with so many people throwing themselves at him," Shane winked. "We'll take four cokes, thanks."

Oliver spluttered, evidently putting two and two together – we had arranged this. "_You_ arranged this? I am going to-"

"Now, now, Oliver, if you were going to threaten our dear friends, you would be greatly misconceived to believe I would allow you to do that," a sweet voice came from beside him; Amelie. He turned to look at her in confusion, her impeccable cream suit and perfectly coiffured hair making her look as far away from the vampire she really was. Is, I guess.

"They _told the students to come here dressed as vampires and got them to try and kiss me_!" he stressed to her, but she simply shook her head and smiled.

"It is a good thing to get publicity for the café, is it not?" she said to him. "After all, Oliver, you were only complaining last week about how the students don't visit you too often. At least this little stunt, albeit not exactly _wise_ given the nature of this town, has brought you business," she continued and we all laughed at Oliver's maddened expression – maddened because she had brought something up from before, something which was probably supposed to be confidential.

"I am not happy," he muttered, but she hardened her smile to a line of lips, exerting her power.

"No," she agreed after a long wait. "I daresay you are not. Yet you have to do as _I_ say, in _my_ town, so just shut up, please. You are, along with this _appalling_ choice in music, making my head hurt," she continued, before looking in our direction. A glimmer of a smile loitered on her lips, especially as Oliver went away to serve someone, muttering all the way.

"Oops," Shane said as he noticed Amelie's direction of her staring. Me. Oops, that was a bit of a problem.

"Claire, can I have a word, please?" she asked and I knew it wasn't a choice. I nodded before following her through to Oliver's office, Michael promising that they would stay right there and not move.

Once in the office and the door safely shut, she sat down in Oliver's chair before looking as if she was contemplating something. That made me nervous, _still_ makes me nervous remembering it, and she could tell from the increase in my heartbeat. "You would make an appalling vampire, Claire, with a heartbeat," she lightened the tense mood, an actual smile toying on her lips. "I asked to speak with you because I know what you are doing, for Shane. I condone this, so long as the existence of my people is not made public. You may do whatever you wish to with Shane, as long as you recognise they will not be happy with you once he has… passed on," she continued, giving me permission for everything on the list… which is a good thing, since raiding her wardrobe is on there!

"Ma'am," I began, but her phone beeped, interrupting me.

"Yes?" she inquired, no pleasantries or confirmation of her identity – if she lost her phone, then she would have died so… "I shall be right there, Sam," she said before hanging up. "Claire, is it important because if not, I have to leave," she addressed me, standing up and facing me. I felt so stupid, wearing the vampire costume with her, but nodded.

"Could I see you tomorrow about it?" I asked, not wanting to take up more of her time if she was busy.

"Very well – I take it 11am will be late enough for you to have forced yourself out of bed, as you youngsters find it so hard to do nowadays," she sighed, once again showing her displeasure for the mannerisms of my age group.

"If possible, could we make it 8am?" I asked, and she looked amazed for a second before nodding.

"Very well, 8am, but if you are late Claire, do not expect me to wait for you," she shrugged before disappearing through the portal.

I returned to the party and for three hours, we danced the night away, Oliver watching us with an angry expression whenever I turned back to look at him or to get drinks. But I didn't care, because I was with Shane.

We came home and Eve went to bed, as she has to work tomorrow, and Shane and Michael are playing zombie killing because, well, they don't have long left to play it. And I am writing this before going to bed myself, as I need to meet Amelie to ask her…

… that can wait for tomorrow.

Claire

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**So, what did you think? This idea (the second part) just popped into my head so I HAD to write it!**

**Please review!**

**I would love you all forever, and update TWICE tomorrow, if you wanted, if you would have a gander at some of my other stories/oneshots xD**

**Vicky xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sooo… thanks for the reviews!**

**I got bored so decided to write this chapter update and post NOW, rather than at night like usual, before writing ANOTHER new story… it's going to be Claire/Myrnin, so you Shane lovers probably won't like it xD**

**Whereas **_**I**_**, on the other hand, am a definite Claire/Myrnin gal!**

**I don't own anything!**

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_**Tuesday 3**__**rd**__** May – 10am**_

I cannot _believe_ Amelie. How selfish is she? She has _everything_ she wants and still she won't let me leave Morganville with Shane, to let him see the world, or at least _America_, before he dies. She knows he is definitely going to die – hello, _terminal cancer_ – but she won't let me leave!

I got up at 7am and got ready, slipping out of the house before anyone else had even _begun_ to wake up! I relished the beauty of the rising sun, feeling its rays upon my face as I walked down Lot Street, heading for Amelie's offices in Founder's Square. It's still creepy heading to Vamp Central in the daytime, since so many of them still loiter around… but that's besides the point – I had to go there, in order to try and get Amelie to let us leave.

I should have known it was a lost cause before I had even begun.

I walked into the building and felt the difference in temperature instantly: vamps being vamps, they don't feel the need to turn the heating on – they don't feel the cold. It would be a pointless waste of money for them… I wonder if another ice age came. Would they feel the cold then?

"Claire, you're here, and early," Amelie commented as soon as I walked into her plush office, the carpe actually _bouncing_ me along towards her. She motioned for me to take a seat in front of her antique mahogany desk, the darkest thing in the newly decorated room. Everything else was various shades of pastel, including her, besides for the heavily tinted window. You could _just_ see out of it, and be able to see the rising sun – probably a heavens sent and a horrible thing at the same time: good because it meant she could actually see the sun but bad because she couldn't go out and bask in it's rays.

"I would like a favour," I jumped straight in, not making small talk or anything else because you just_ don't _do that with Amelie.

"Direct to the point, I like that," she observed, a hint of a smile playing about her lips. "Very well, I am in an indulgent mood. Tell me and I shall consider it," she said, and I felt a flash of anger at the fact that I only get a _chance_ of getting what I want because she is in the right sort of mood.

"I want to be able to leave Morganville with Shane," I said after a deep breath, watching as her eyebrows rose infinitesimally. "Of course, it would only be for a month and we would come back… after all, I wouldn't want you sending people after us and, well, yeah," I babbled on, feeling the pressure to fill the silence she seemed to enjoy. It gave her power, and I hated that… if you weren't careful, you could end up spilling your secrets to her. I didn't want to inform her of the engagement between me and Shane and somehow, I ensured that my hand was covering my ring without her noticing the movement – at least I hope she didn't notice.

Finally, she shook her head and spoke. "No. I forbid you to leave Morganville, Claire," she dashed my hopes of showing Shane the Statue of Liberty or being able to eat pancakes in Tiffany's. "You may have the intentions to return now, but after a month of liberty, how would you feel? You would be persuaded to continue running, and Shane would be unable to keep up with you… Claire, he is dying. So you would be left to run from me alone and let me remind you that I do not take well to people running from me. I need you here, for after he has departed this earth and I doubt you would return to us. Therefore, you cannot leave," she almost shrugged, as if it was so matter of fact.

In that moment, she destroyed my dreams entirely. She made me know that I was _never_ going to be able to leave Morganville, not for MIT or Caltech or the other schools I got into. I couldn't leave her control, I _can't_ leave her control, and I am hers entirely.

"As you said, he is dying," I muttered as I stood to leave. Her eyes followed me curiously, wondering what I was going to say. "He hasn't seen the world, or even America, and he is going to die in your hellhole of a town. You hold the key for one person to be able to feel slightly happier about dying so young but you toss it away, for control. Well stuff everything that you want me to do, Amelie. I don't care anymore. Pretend that you are this magnificent ruler of a kingdom of people who _want_ to be here. They don't. We don't. Enjoy your throne," I gradually increased in volume and bitterness as I continued, her eyebrows becoming almost non existent in her hair line as she took in my words.

I walked to the door and threw it open, just for her to speak again. "I shall forgive you for that, Claire, for I know how you are feeling," she commented, and some part of me almost felt sorry for her on some level before I reminded myself that I wasn't allowed to take Shane out of Morganville for _four fricking weeks_! "Congratulations on your engagement. You have my permission to marry, not that I believe you would need it anyway," she continued – shit she saw the ring! I had forgotten that, as my owner body and soul, she would need to grant me permission to marry. But she was right – if she hadn't have given me it, I would have done it anyway. Who cares?

"Whatever," I muttered before walking through the door and slamming it shut behind me, her vampire assistant wincing at the noise. I ignored her, striding through the office building and out of the door faster than even a vampire could probably.

From there, I went to Common Grounds where I am now, the remnants of the party still littering the floor. I got some dirty looks from some of the vampires in here last night but they all ignored me, speech wise.

Oliver wasn't here – not a surprise really – so I ordered with Amy, who handed me a mocha near instantly; she is almost as efficient as Eve! Then I came and sat over here, and have just writ-

….

Sorry about that. Sam came over, and I hid my diary so that he didn't see it – vampire sight can read everything in perfect clarity even upside down and for a second.

"I heard about your antics last night," he chuckled, sipping his coffee.

"Sit down, Sam," I told him to, drinking some of my own drink as he did so. He smiled at me and placed his hand on my own in comfort. "We had a right blast. Oliver was more popular than he has been in years," I continued, wanting to lift the mood up slightly.

"I wish I would have been able to come – it was a shame I was teaching," he laughed, looking around. "People aren't happy with you, Claire, but I can't agree. It seemed as if it rocked, but maybe a different theme next time you want to drive Oliver up the wall?" he suggested and I nodded slowly, knowing I wasn't ever going to do it again.

"Think he will speak to me again?" I asked, not bothered if he wouldn't but just wondering.

"Probably; Amelie will make him," he shrugged, and the mention of Amelie hit my heart. She had denied me the right to do what I wanted – I ought to hate her. But only a little part of me does, if I'm honest. I can see why she acted, just like I'm acting. "Tell you what, I can tell you've got more plans for crazy stunts, so tell me if you need a bodyguard or some help driving or whatever and I will help out – if you want?" he asked and I smiled.

"That would be really great," I told him honestly. "Thanks Sam. So, if we're starting this, can I confirm that no matter _what_ we do, you won't not help us or sprag to Amelie or whatever?" I asked knowing that the entire stealing Amelie's clothes may make her _slightly_ less happy to help, but if he helps then she should be ok.

"As long as it doesn't involve stakes, yeah," he grinned and I laughed back.

"No stakes… but we're starting a jewellery business with stake charms if you want in?" I suggested and he laughed, his head thrown back by the force of it. "So… first mission. Where does Amelie live?" I leant forwards and asked him, grinning the whole time.

He told me and then we arranged that he would meet me and Shane at the Glass House later, when she has an entire diary of appointments – most of whom are Oliver, greedy bugger - and we could do our mission.

So I'm just about to go home and tell Shane the _next _thing we're going to be doing. This is going to be _so_ awesome!

Claire!

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**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!**

**Not much happened but if you review, I will maybe update today AGAIN!**

**And if you comment and say, if there are any, which other story you want me to update, I could MAYBE make that happen xD**

**Vicky xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, a new chapter for you all xD AND THE SAME DAY! I think I must be going crazy, updaying twice, both chapters over 2000 words... but, yano, may as well... hehe**

**I hope you enjoy it!**

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_**Tuesday 3**__**rd**__** May 2011 – 7:45pm:**_

Dear diary,

Oh my god, that had to have been the _most_ epic afternoon _ever_! Sam helped us make the plan _so_ much better than it was originally – and she is going to be _furious _when she finds out!

I left Common Grounds, Oliver still not having shown up, and headed home to find Shane _just_ getting up.

"Jeez, you're one hell of a sleepy head!" I told him, reaching up the last couple of stairs to press my lips to his. He kissed me back and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him before finally releasing me.

"What trouble have you got planned for me today then, my wonderful fiancée?" he asked me, and I grinned widely at the way he called me his 'fiancée' – I think we ought to get on with the planning for this wedding soon!

"Well, Sam is helping us out with transport and actually knowing where to go, so we're leaving in forty minutes," I informed him and he laughed, but didn't actually know what we were doing.

"Should I be dressing for a bust up with Oliver or not?" he inquired, and I smiled, wondering what to say to him.

"Well, if you think Oliver will be hiding in Amelie's wardrobe, then yeah you should," I shrugged, watching as his expression turned ever _more_ confused as to why we're going to Amelie's wardrobe. "Cause, you see, we're going to be going to Amelie's and stealing _all_ of her clothes. I think we should leave some clothes such as jeans and modern day sluttier stuff for her to not have to be _entirely_ clotheless… and then we're going to donate it all to the homeless and charities around the town!" I explained and he laughed his head off at this.

"Claire, you have the _best _ideas of stuff to do to piss off vamps," he complimented me, wrapping his arm around my waist as he dragged us up the stairs. "But surely Sam'll tell her? After all, he's a vamp and he loves her," he worried over Sam and his involvement unnecessarily.

"Sam agreed to do it and said he wouldn't tell Amelie," I told him, but he wasn't convinced. "And Michael is a vamp but wants to do things like this. So it doesn't really count… anyway, Sam laughed his head off when I told him what we're going to do," I continued to placate him, knowing he wasn't bothered about it being Sam, just who Sam is… if that makes sense.

"Michael isn't in love with Amelie," Shane retaliated back, just for Michael to hear as he stepped out of his room.

"I should think not!" Michael blurted out, horror on his face as he processed the _idea_ of Amelie and him together – ew! "I mean, she is _way_ too old for me… I'd have said she was more Shane material, to be honest!" he joked, and Shane punched him in the arm. Even though it couldn't have hurt a year old vampire, Michael pretended to wince and for a minute it was back before _everything_ happened, just when I moved to Morganville. I blinked and the moment was gone…

"Whatev, man, just because you're hiding your feelings so Sam thinks he has a shot," Shane laughed back before walking down to his room with me wrapped around him. "See ya later, Mike. We're going to go on a raiding session!" he informed him then shut the door. "So, my wonderful girl, fancy fooling around for a bit before leaving?" he suggested, making me bite my lip.

I did want to fool around – I really did. But we had to leave in only half an hour, so I knew we didn't have the time. "Well, unless you would rather have Amelie continue to wear her hideous clothes… I mean, we can _always_ be together after that, can't we?" I appealed to his more adventurous side, the side what wanted to destroy the vampires and their sense of order, so he wouldn't be too upset about me declining his offer right now.

"I guess you're right," he whispered into my hair, his hands grasping me tightly before releasing me so that he could get changed. I jumped onto his bed whilst he did so, running my fingers through my hair to make sure that it was ok and turned around to see him already dressed in a pair of tight fitting blue jeans and a plain grey t-shirt. "Didn't want to be memorable around the charity shops if she went looking for her clothes," he shrugged, noticing me giving him the once over of clothing – he's right. And I supposed my black jeans and plain white t-shirt would be fine as well… they were, by the way. I didn't stand out a mile when we committed the heinous act of donating Amelie's (hideous) clothing to charity shops.

As we left his room, I darted into my room for the bag of clothes I had gathered together for Amelie to now have in her wardrobe: skinny jeans and long tops, dresses which went _way_ above the knee and closer to the underwear line, strappy vest tops, to name but a few of the things in there.

We headed down the stairs and waited for Sam's vampire car to turn up, which it did exactly at the time we agreed. Shane lugged the bag of clothes with us, but he didn't even seem bothered about the weight – men!

"Have fun being clothes nappers," Michael commented with a grin, brandishing a cup of coffee as we walked out of the door. "Make sure that Sam knows that you're after his gal as well, Shane!" he joked, just before the door slammed shut.

"No, you can get him back later," I warned, as Shane was about to open the door and yell an insult back. He looked at me with a hard expression before grinning and nodding.

"Means I can get some thoughts about what to say that's better than 'F you, man'," Shane laughed, taking my hand as we walked down the steps and the path to reach Sam's car. "Hey, Sam, how are you?" he said amiably as we opened the back door and slide in.

"Not bad, just looking forward to doing some breaking and entering!" he laughed from behind the wheel. When he laughs like that, he looks 12, which is slightly worrying given he is driving (unfortunately, we can't see out of the windows to drive) but he has _got_ to be a better driver than Myrnin! He almost gave about fifty people a heart attack by driving on the wrong side before then on the pavement!

We drove down many streets, which we would have probably recognised _if we could see_, before pulling up. "This is Amelie's house in here – you may be wondering why there is no security. It's because only four people know of it's location: me, her, Oliver and Myrnin… oh and her staff, but they don't really count," he explained why we weren't being questioned for being there.

"Where are we?" Shane cheekily asked, making Sam look back at him and roll his eyes.

"Haha, very funny – I am _absolutely_ not going to tell you we are fifteen streets east of Lot Street, in an area which looks as if it is abandoned but actually houses the Founder in a huge, fancy house which she doesn't really need," he pretty much told us where it was: the old, disused, industrial estate on the far east of Morganville.

Sam had the door open for me before I could even undo my seatbelt, Shane sliding out after me to admire the huge house, three rolls of binbags in his hands - it was a good thing that Sam had a big boot! You could tell that the house had been built in the Victorian times, just by the structure, but that Amelie had been influenced in the design of it from prior centuries, things such as the wooden beams associated with Tudor houses being present, along with what looked as if it could be partially thatched roofing!

"This way," Sam instructed, leading the way up a well maintained garden path to a huge ornate door around the side of the building. It was unlocked – of course! He pushed it open carefully, wincing slightly as it creaked, but there was absolutely _nobody_ home – not even her staff. Weird, but that was fine – we had a mission to do!

We followed Sam up the twisting marble staircase, he looking as if he lived here which he could have done at a point, onto the third floor where he stopped. "This is Amelie's dressing area – I say that Claire deals with accessories first, whilst we grab the suits and stuff. When we take the stuff down to the car, we can grab the clothes that you brought and arrange them in the wardrobe as if they belong there. Deal?" he suggested and we all nodded, grinning evilly. This was so wicked, and could be dangerous if she returned, but she didn't so it was all good!

I gathered two bags full of pearls, hair grips (so she couldn't pin her hair back) and other things such as earrings, makeup and stuff… there was so much! I took the bags to the hallway before going and helping Shane and Sam with the clothes… Eve would be proud if she saw how little clothes she had compared to Amelie: seriously, the entire range that there is in New Look would need to be _doubled_ to get near to the amount of stuff Amelie has… had, since we donated it all!

"Help?" Shane suggested with a grin, and I got to him, assisting in throwing blouse after blouse into a binbag. We must have worked for a good thirty minutes before we were finally finished, the room being entirely bare with just silk hangars showing that stuff had been in there: professional thieves or what?

Sam couldn't actually believe what he had done, and kept muttering about it as he took load after load of clothes downstairs – I couldn't help as they were too heavy and he didn't want to put Shane under too much pressure (dying, remember, although it doesn't seem like it most of the time) to take them down. But finally we were ready to replenish her wardrobe, scattering the jeans and the tops and the dresses around to fill it up more. We could have gone right down to underwear, but we didn't feel exactly _comfortable_ with that, especially as it was Amelie's… that would be going _too_ far!

"Now _this_ is more like the levels of clothes you need in a wardrobe," Sam grinned, taking in the near empty room. "I don't see why she needed _fifteen_ of the _exact_ same suit! She had a bit of a problem, if you ask me!" he laughed, leading the way back down the stairs and out of the house, shutting the door carefully…

From here, we drove back into town, me in Shane's arms the entire time. Sam took us down the 'main street' and waited in the car as we took in _seventeen_ bags to the same shop – we helped each other out with the bags, as it was too heavy for me but I wanted to help him.

Five shops later, the car was finally empty and a sense of fear was beginning to rise over me and Shane. I was really worried, still am if I'm honest, that she is going to murder us both when she finds out it was us – but then again, how will she know? Sam's scent overpowered ours in the house and only four people know where she lives – I'm sure that Oliver could have the blame pinned on him somehow, as he did it in revenge for Amelie insisting the party could go ahead!

"Thanks Sam, that was great!" I laughed as he dropped us off at home, four hours after we left. But that didn't matter – we had a great time!

"Thank _you_, I wanted to do that _forever_," he responded with a grin. "Have fun guys, and I will make sure that she doesn't know or suspect it was you!" he shouted so that we could hear even though the door was shutting; we seem to have a knack at shutting the door when people are talking!

We darted up the steps and into the house, Sam only driving away when we were safely inside, to find Michael and Eve eating dinner.

"S'up, Amelie lover?" Shane said to Michael – Amelie lover? I couldn't believe that _that_ was what he had come up with after four hours of thinking of a comeback. His original response would have been better.

"Says the guy who just spent hours in her house, nicking her clothes," Michael retaliated with ease. "How do we know that you didn't sneak some of her clothes in here with you, to rock yourself to sleep at night?" he continued, a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Amelie? Clothes? Stealing? What the _hell_ is going on and why was I not invited to steal clothes?" Eve pressed, and I laughed.

Shane agreed to explain whilst I came upstairs to get changed, but I did that in two seconds and so am writing this. I'm going to go downstairs in a minute and spend some quality time with Shane, as we don't have long left. Then I'm going to… well, it doesn't matter.

Claire!

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**So, whatcha think?**

**Like/not like? **

**More on the clothes napping next chapter xD**

**Review! *Claire and Shane **_**order**_**you to, otherwise you are next on their revenge list!* REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW... and if you get bored... I have lots of other fics *hint***

**Vicky xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Soo… thanks for the reviews!**

**Hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

**I watched a little of the wedding earlier before I went to cinema (love the holidays!) so congrats to Will and Kate xD**

**I don't own anything…**

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_**Wednesday 4**__**th**__** May 2011 – 11am: **_**(A/N… the day I go back to school *sigh*)**

She is _majorly_ pissed. I don't actually believe that the world could have seen _anyone_ as angry… even the person who got crowned the angriest person in the world!

7am this morning and Sam was around, banging on the door to get us up. I was the muggins who had to get up and answer the door, bleary eyed, as everyone else could sleep through it.

"She is angrier than anyone has ever seen," Sam said gleefully, seeming happy to have managed to do something to get himself into her attention again. After Bishop… well, she sort of pushed him away again once he recovered from the near death experience. And he wants her back. So even _negative_ attention will be good for him, he probably thought.

"Why, what happened?" I asked, inviting him into the house. "Do you want any coffee?" I called over my shoulder as I walked into the kitchen, setting up a fresh pot of coffee so that when the scavengers came down (they began to emerge two hours later) they would have something to stop them going to bed again.

"That'd be great," Sam replied, following me into the kitchen. He sat down at one of the chairs before starting his story. "Well, I dropped you off here last night before heading to Common Grounds, as I guessed that Oliver would get the news pretty quickly. Then about an hour later, she burst through the portal and confronted me and Oliver, taking us back to her house to show us the wardrobe. Something about her was so feral… anyway, Oliver and I went back and he looked _really_ scared, saying that he had never seen her that angry… and all it was about was clothes," he shrugged, not seeming to get the point. Women love clothes – they need them. Yet I shouldn't expect a man to be able to grasp that!

"So does she suspect anyone?" I asked, plonking a cup in front of him and downing half of mine in one go.

"Thanks," he motioned the coffee. "No, I don't think she does. She can't figure out why my scent was there but she doesn't suspect me… oh boy, what does she want?" he suddenly asked himself, as his phone rang – evidently, he had a ringtone simply for Amelie. "Hello, Amelie, what can I do for you?... no, I don't know what happened to your clothes… you found them scattered around the shops? That's too bad… anything that you want me to do?... no, ok, well, why did you ring me?... whatever, I have to go. Bye," he hung up on her in what was probably the rudest conversation he had ever had with her.

"Are you feeling ok?" I asked him, suddenly concerned.

"Yeah, why?"

"As you just blew off Amelie and normally you seem entirely up her ass," I told him the truth, and he laughed at my analogy.

"I'm sick of her dictating about the two of us, so I thought I may as well help keep the spotlight off you and Shane by making her think it was most likely my idea… but I have to say that she will suspect you sooner or later, since your scents are all over her clothes," he ranted on, before smiling slightly.

"Well, I guess the fact that she hasn't found out yet is good, right?" I said, smiling slightly at the absurdity of what we did.

That was until I balked and knew I was going to throw up.

"Excuse me," I whispered, hand over my mouth as I ran for the stairs, sprinting up them and slamming the bathroom door shut before throwing my guts up down the toilet. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but I know why I threw up – the pork kebabs that we ate last night. Every time we have them, I throw up: it's nothing unusual. I shouldn't eat them but… they taste _soooooo_ _good_!

"You ok?" Sam confirmed with me as I returned downstairs.

"Yeah, just kebabs – I could see bits of it, it was disgusting," I shuddered at the vomit, watching as he cringed back from all this unnecessary information.

"Your phone rang – it was Amelie," he informed me – shit! I knew that that couldn't have been good; she either wanted to speak with me about the whole 'whatever' blow off, or she knew. As in _she knew_ about the involvement Shane and I had in the stealing of her clothes.

"What did she say?" I asked him, wondering whether or not he had picked up. It wouldn't have been good either way; answerphone isn't Amelie's style and if she knew Sam was here, that in itself was a little suspicious.

"She wants to see you, me and Shane in three hours," he informed me, my heart sinking. She knew, I could tell then. I was right as well.

"Shit, well do you want to stay or go and come back?" I wondered whether he would want to stay in a house with three comatose occupants and one who stank of puke.

"I'll stay – I have a book I can read if you want to go and get ready or whatever," he shrugged, sitting down on the sofa in the living room whilst I headed up the stairs. Something about his face still bothers me – it was as if he knew something he shouldn't, or that he didn't want to say… odd.

I got ready, feeling so much better for the shower and entirely not queasy whatsoever which was good, before heading back downstairs. I had ducked into Shane's room but something about his face made me hurt inside; he looked as if he was in pain. It was as if when he was asleep, he couldn't hide evidently what he feels during the day but hides from me. This face made me realise that, no matter how he appeared, he was dying and I would loose him. I _will_ lose him – there is no question about it.

So for the next hour and a half before Shane appeared from the depths of sleep, I sat downstairs with Sam, arguing about the reliability of different historical films – slightly pointless, but it was all I could think about that kept firmly away from illness or Amelie or Amelie's clothes… it worked, anyway, to keep me distracted.

"You look as if you had a fight with a yeti," Sam told Shane honestly as soon as he emerged down the stairs, his hair all flat on one side but sticking up on the other, his clothes entirely wrinkled.

"Yeah, well, not as if I have anything else to do today besides fight mythical creatures, is it?" Shane yawned as he leant over to give me a kiss.

"Wrong," Sam replied, standing up. "Less of the kissing, please, it's making me nauseous," he continued, smiling slightly.

"Whatever, not as if we have anything else to do, and we're getting married so ha!" Shane retorted, but he _really_ needs to get better at them – at least with the Glass family!

"Us three have been summoned by Amelie to see her in an hour, so yes you _do_ have something to be doing," Sam told him, slightly sharply. Ooohh, Mr Nasty Sam was coming out – and that was someone I have seen maybe three times in the entire time I have known him. It just isn't Sam…

"Shit, she knows?" Shane looked horrified as Sam nodded, giving him a _slight_ misconception as to Amelie's knowledge. "Wow, she really _is_ omnipotent!"

"Shane, you are an idiot," I laughed, making him look at me in confusion. "She only _probably_ knows… she hasn't fully accused us yet… that's what we're probably going to get when we see her!"

"So the _probably_ is meant to make me feel so much better, is it?" he joked back before heading through to the kitchen to make a coffee.

"So, marriage huh?" Sam asked quietly; I thought I had told him!

"Yeah… he's not going to be here much longer and we were going to do it anyway… it's only bringing forwards the inevitable, in the time span we have," I sighed, acknowledging the reason we're getting married now. We shouldn't be getting married for at least a couple of years, but we don't have that time anymore.

"I think it's great that you're doing it… you'll always have a tie to him, even after he has gone," he replied – _so_ not what I thought he was going to say.

"So, you're not going to say you think we're too young?" I asked suspiciously, unsure why I thought he would say this, but asking anyway.

"He's too young to die as well, but that's happening," he responded quietly. Some part of me remembered how he almost died when he wasn't much older than Shane is… but Shane couldn't be a vampire. He wouldn't want it, even to stay with me. "And I wouldn't presume I could tell you what to do anyway. The only one of you I have control over is Michael and he doesn't listen to me, so… anyway, what do your parents think?" he asked – I realised then _that I haven't told my parents_! That has to be one of the biggest faux pas I have ever committed! They have no idea that we are getting married or that Shane is dying – this was an awful thing to hear!

"I listen to you – I value your opinion and although you have no official tie to me, I think of you like a Grandad," I confessed how I valued Sam before hearing a crash from the kitchen. I stood up and began to run through but Sam was already in there, helping Shane up from the floor. "Shane, are you alright?" I asked in alarm, watching as his face was contorted in agony – the first time I have seen him outwardly _consciously_ in pain. It was the cancer… and it scared me.

"Yeah, fine, just slipped," he lied, but I accepted it. If he wanted to be a big hero, then that was fine for me – I had to let him. I'm not the one with cancer who is dying – he is. However he wants to deal with it is fine with me.

"Ok, well you need to get ready as we're leaving in half an hour," I whispered, unable to look at him as he panted with the pain. Sam stayed with him, helping him through to the stairs whilst I sat on the sofa, facing the opposite direction.

"You need to let him deal with it his own way," Sam said suddenly, so I jumped. I hadn't heard him come through, therefore my heartrate increased dramatically!

"I am, I just find it hard to accept that he won't tell me anything," I responded, my lower lip quavering with the effort not to let the tears out. Sam wrapped his arms around me in comfort and I just broke down, crying into his shoulder.

"You will be fine, Claire, honestly," he comforted me continually until I stopped crying. When I pulled away, he gave me his twinkle eyed grin and laughed. "However, _how_ long that will last is debatable, since you haven't told your parents about your plans… which I have to say would be a _good_ idea for you to do, if Amelie doesn't kill us all!" he continued, and I let out a half hearted laugh. I didn't believe that everything would be ok – I still don't – but I had to pretend, so that I could practise being strong for Shane. I can't let him see how much his demise is hurting me… I need to be strong and hide it, so that I can help him and have him happy.

"Yeah… that would be a good solution," I smiled back, unable to talk about death…

So, we all got in the car and arrived at Amelie's offices, pulling up in the vampire reserved spaces. Shane took my hand as we walked out of the shade and into the building, past Amelie's assistant and straight into her office.

Where we all got a surprise.

"Whoa," Sam couldn't help himself, as the blonde beauty turned to look at us with a hard expression. She was wearing the clothes we left in her wardrobe – skinny black jeans, red high heeled boots, a layered vest top which reached mid-thigh and an assortment of costume jewellery, her hair loose around her shoulders. She looked so… _modern. _It really, _really,_ suited her!

" 'Whoa' is not an appropriate response _when you stole my clothes_!" she yelled at Sam, her fury making her usual emotionless self break down into fury. Shane and I instantly backed towards the door as her icy cold eyes locked on us. "Shane, shut the door," she continued, her anger turned back into ice cold power.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Sam blatantly lied as we sat down in the seats. He seemed almost in a power struggle with Amelie, but not using power because he would have been zapped instantly. No, it was more likely a 'who cared for the other more' sort of thing, or maybe love… who knew.

"Give up with the pretences, Sam, I am _sick_ of them!" she snapped, turning to us. "I can tell that you three did it, as _your scents were all over my clothes_. So, tell me, what did you do with them?" she yelled this; I had rarely seen her yell before then and she had done it twice in a minute.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said pretty much the same thing as Sam, as did Shane, which didn't exactly please her.

"So you are all in cahoots," she summarised, calming down slightly on the surface. Her gaze locked on the desk whilst she thought something through. "I know you all did it, leaving these clothes _which Claire bought with her credit card_, so how to punish you…" she theorised, making me snap.

I stood up in front of her, watching as she snapped up to look at me, confused, impressed and exasperated in the same expression.

"You can't punish us for something that you cannot prove we did," I told her straight.

"Can I not? This is my town," she retorted coolly – maybe that was the wrong thing for me to have started with.

"Shane doesn't exactly need a punishment, does he?" I reminded her coolly, matching her tone. "As for me, I don't care what you do. But Sam… you are _such_ a cow to him!" I explode, ignoring Sam's whispered words to shut up and simply stepped closer to the woman behind the desk.

Her face seemed ashamed and pained as I said this, but not angry. It was as if she knew that this was the truth, that she needed to accept this… but I continued anyway. "You love him, he loves you, so what's the problem? Yet _you_ have to have the control… as soon as he stops being useful to you, you leave him alone again, heartbroken. There is a term for people like you: user. You can say that you can punish him, but you can't… as you already are doing and have done probably since before I was born," I yelled all this at her before storming from the room.

As I turned to slam the door shut, I saw Sam's stunned (but sort of happy face) and Shane's proud one. But then there was Amelie's… and it still haunts me. It was frozen into a mess of fear, denial… but acceptance and recognition that she _is_ like that… and with seeing that, all the fight dropped out of me.

I left the building and, once again, walked to Common Grounds for some coffee. I couldn't wait there, so came here and wrote everything down. I was too hard on her, and she could kill me for it. Yet it is the truth and… she needed to hear it. Sam would never have told her, so I had to.

Yet I know what I am going to do this afternoon, whenever I find Shane again.

Tell my parents we're getting married.

Should be fun.

Claire.

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**So… another **_**long**_**, long chapter from me!**

**I hope you liked it! Seriously, I spend most of my writing time with this story and haven't **_**updated **_**(starting new stories doesn't count) anything since before I started this one!**

**So… REVIEW! **

**And if you want to know what happens next, story alert…and preferably review as well **

**Vicky xx **


	8. Chapter 8

**So thanks for the reviews!**

**Enjoy the new chapter!**

**I don't own anything!**

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_**Wednesday 4**__**th**__** May 2011 – 9pm**_

That was so scary… I wish I had never had to tell my parents that I was getting married, much less to a dying man, but I had to. I had to go and inform them of this today, and it was possibly one of the most awkward moments of my life.

Shane caught up with me in Common Grounds and he seemed so impressed with the way I stood up to Amelie.

"Sam doesn't deserve to be treated like that and you did entirely the right thing in telling her that she is being a royal bitch," he said to me as he kissed my forehead upon arriving next to me.

"I know… I just felt really bad when I saw her face when I was leaving," I sighed, knowing that I couldn't explain how I felt when I saw her face – or even what her expression was. All I knew was that I had gone too far and I had decimated everything inside of her.

"Anyway, are we going to go and tell your parents that I'm making an honest woman of you today, or not?" he smiled, offering me his hand to stand up. I took it and his arm snaked around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

As we walked out of the café, my ring caught the light and it made me both happy and sad: happy because we were going to join in the biggest display of love possible, but sad because it is happening too early – we should have the rest of our long lives together, rather than the simple four months, or less now.

We headed slowly to my parent's house, not quickly because I could see that he was tiring but didn't want to appear weak. Why he has to hide how he isn't well is beyond me, since I know that he is dying!

"Claire, what are you doing here?" my Mum answered the door, evidently confused as to why Shane and I were at her door.

"Mum, we have something to tell you and it… well, there are two things," I said quietly, my voice showing that at least one wasn't good.

"Come on in," she replied slowly, looking suspicious but inviting us in. "Claire's here!" she called to my Dad in the other room, who stood up as we entered.

"Claire, what a surprise to see you!" he smiled, reaching out to me for a hug. I wrapped my arms around his frail frame carefully whilst my mum and Shane stood by awkwardly. "Are you going to tell us what is going on or do we have to twist it out of you?" he said suddenly and I got the sense that he knew that something was up…

I stepped back and Shane wrapped his arm around me before taking a deep breath. I opened my mouth to talk but no sound comes out, so Shane laughs slightly before taking it up.

"Mr and Mrs Danvers, as you are aware, I love your daughter very much," he began and I already cringed at the way he worded it… I knew exactly what they would be thinking. "Therefore I felt it was only time that I asked her to marry me. We're engaged," he said, and the reaction was _exactly _what I expected.

Dad stepped forwards in anger whilst Mum gasped in horror. Her hand went to her mouth as she thought she figured out… yep, she thought exactly what I thought she would.

"Are you pregnant?" Dad asked sharply, and I had to laugh at the absurdity. I knew that they would think of that, but it's _so_ not the truth!

"No!" I replied instantly, looking at Shane who seemed as if he could barely keep a laugh in. "Seriously, Mum, Dad, I'm not pregnant! Look… Shane, maybe you had better explain," I sighed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to keep the tears in if I explained.

Shane nodded and stepped forwards towards my parents, hands clasped together and his head bowed. "I don't know how to say this eloquently, but I'm dying," he said, and of course my parents gasped in horror. "I have about four months to live now, according to the doctors, and so I wanted to do this for Claire, so that she would have something to remember me by… I truly love her and I am so sorry for leaving her but…" he trailed off, tears in his eyes and I moved forwards to him to comfort him.

"Oh, Shane, I am so sorry," my Mum said, tears in her eyes as she moved forwards to give him a hug. How ironic that she hated him until about thirty seconds ago and now she was hugging him as if she loved him her entire life.

After about five billion years of my parents saying that they support us and they'll do anything to help, including financing the wedding, we finally managed to leave.

"Shane, do you want to get married this month?" I asked him quietly, as we walked the short distance to our own Founder House. I wanted to be able to tie myself to him properly before he became weak, or closer to death than he already is. I wanted to be able to have him stand at the end of the aisle and wait for me, smiling as he waits to marry me. That's what I want.

He turned to look at me in shock before nodding, bending his head to kiss me on the lips. His hands twisted into my hair as we stopped in the middle of the pavement (nobody was around) to just kiss, passion erupting around us in fireworks.

"I'd really like that," he smiled as soon as he released me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders this time to pull me in closer to his chest. "Are you going to go and get a dress tomorrow then?" he asked me, and I nodded, not really bothered about what I will wear as long as I actually manage to marry Shane.

We came home and Shane, what a surprise, went on the games console with Michael whilst I went in the kitchen with Eve.

"We're getting married this month some time, so I need to get myself, and my maid of honour, some dresses," I hinted at her being my maid of honour and she squealed at me, wrapping her arms around me in glee.

"I am_ so_ getting you the _bestest_ dress in the history of the universe," she grinned. "Thank you for making me your maid of honour! Oh yeah, by the way, there was a letter that came for you. It looks as if Ice Queen sent it," she added on the end, making my heart sink. She had to send a response for what I said: if it involves me being punished or whatever for talking to her like that, she can _stuff_ herself!

I released Eve and moved over to pick up the letter, reading it quickly, a sense of remorse and guilt washing over me. I copied it up here, like I did with her other letter, so that I don't lose it… it's important.

_Claire_

_I would like to say… thank you. You may think that this seems a little strange, especially since I did __**not**__ appreciate you yelling at me in such a fashion, but… it made me realise my actions have been entirely selfish._

_I have not considered Sam's feelings, or even your own and Shane's, recently and have only considered what is the best thing for the town or for me._

_You have made me question some assumptions I have had and I spoke with Sam for a long time after both you and Shane left._

_Whatever else you do, I swear I shall not turn an eye to it… also, thank you for assisting me in decreasing the size of my wardrobe, something which will be handy if something happens as I think I want it to. Although you all seem to think the clothes suit me, I fear that I shall have to change back to my normal style shortly._

_Thank you once again_

_Amelie_

That really is strange… the letter seemed so _normal_, as if a normal person had written it, not the Founder who is over 1000 years old… she's probably closer to 1500, actually.

"I'm going to go up and get changed," I mumbled to Eve, who was continuing cooking dinner – I don't think I'll be able to eat it, since it already was smelling of burning!

"Ok, honey, see you soon," she smiled over her shoulder, but I didn't look at her. I was too busy rereading the letter, the guilt about what I said revived once again.

So here I am, writing this, and wondering what we're going to do for the wedding…

… I think we should begin the planning tomorrow, but we didn't do anything funny today, so I'm thinking that tomorrow we ought to break into the vampire archives before telling Amelie that Oliver did it…

… maybe something else as well.

But for now, I'm going to go down and eat some probably inedible food before spending one of the limited nights with my friends… as we don't have long left.

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**So… what do you think?**

**Sorry it isn't as good as the ones before: EVERYTHING I write today seems rubbish **

**Please review!**

**Vicky xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the reviews guys! **

**I have been trying to write this chapter for about 5/6 hours now… every time I get around to it, someone **_**else**_** starts to chat with me on Facebook haha**

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_**Thursday 5**__**th**__** May 2011 – 3:30pm:**_

Those women who take _forever_ to plan a wedding, fretting over every fricking decision there could be, ought to take a leaf out of my book. I, well me and Eve and my Mum and sort of Shane, planned my _entire_ wedding in the space of seven hours. Oh… and the other main player in this…well… let's not go there.

Firstly, we found that the boys had suits tucked away in the back of the wardrobe from prom and they were classy black ones, ones that are stylish enough for the wedding. This meant that we had one less thing to worry about.

"Don't worry, honey, I can cater for you," my mother said to me as she turned up at the house at 10am, ready to help me prepare for the speediest wedding in history – one that wasn't an elopement, I mean.

"You _do_ cook the best food," Shane agreed with a smile, evidently trying to get along with my mother as much as possible in his last time here. He looked away from her and into the corner but I got a good look at his face… he is in pain. But I had to pretend that I hadn't seen it, as I had to let him cope with it his own way. And if that involves me being silent and him not telling me, then I have to let him do that.

So within the first fifteen minutes, we had Shane and Michael's suits sorted (besides for maybe a posher waistcoat for the groom) and the catering. I decided to leave _everything_ about the food to my Mum, whilst Eve and I planned the venue and the date and the flowers etc.

After ringing _five_ different places, I gave up. None of them had space for another six months, though I didn't really see _that_ many people getting married in Morganville. But everything was just falling apart: the flowers weren't working out, Michael was failing with the guest list and just _nothing_ was happening.

"Claire Danvers?" a voice startled me on the end of the phone, when I picked it up. It was high pitched and entirely unfamiliar – nobody I had _ever_ spoken to. I'd have remembered that voice.

"Yeahhh," I replied slowly, unsure of who this was.

"My name is Bizzie O'Meara and I am Amelie's assistant," she said, sending a rush of fear through me: I had no idea _why_ Amelie would want to speak with me, especially after yesterday and she sent the note. "Amelie wishes to speak to you imminently. She says that you can use the portal to come here and she is not taking no for an answer," she continued, making the fear ever more prominent in my face. I knew that my friends were looking at me in confusion, as was my fiancé, but I couldn't change my expression for anything.

"I… I'll be right over," I swallowed before hanging up. Then I turned to the gang and told them why I was so tense: Michael and Eve only had a basic idea of what I said to Amelie, but I think they knew that I probably took it a little far, even though Amelie didn't. "Amelie wants to see me, so I need to go there now," I sighed, moving towards the portal.

"You can't go there… after yesterday!" Shane called after me.

I shrugged and nodded my head, knowing that if she wanted to hurt me, she'd wait until after Shane was gone, as to not do would just be more evil than even she was capable of being.

"She'll be fine – honestly, Shane, I will be back soon," I confirmed with him that I would come back – evidently I did, if I am writing this diary entry – before heading back to the portal and striding through it.

I emerged in Amelie's office, a wave of fresh guilt crossing me as I looked at her. Her expression was carefully neutral, her emotions hidden away so that I couldn't see whether or not I hurt her or anything. She motioned for me to take a seat and I did so, sitting where Shane did yesterday so that the memories of standing there in front of the other seat wouldn't hit me.

"Claire, you may be wondering why I asked you to come here – and, no, it has nothing to do with yesterday," she smiled slightly, making me guess that the thing probably wasn't too bad. "I understand you wish to marry this month, as I can appreciate. Therefore, I have managed to secure the City Hall registry office for you for three weeks today – 26th May. Is that acceptable for you?" she sounded almost bitter by the end and I wondered just _what_ happened between her and Sam yesterday. But if I want to know, I'll ask him; asking her about that would be a death wish.

"Thank you, thank you!" I squealed, smiling widely as I processed we had a venue! My worries from the past hour or so had just vanished in the air with Amelie's assistance. "Eeek! All I need now is a dress, flowers, transport and music! That's easy! Thanks! Can I go now?" I requested, pulling a face, wondering whether or not it was too sudden to leave after she had just granted me such a helpful thing.

She smiled briefly, an entirely natural smile, before nodding. "Yes, go. You have an appointment at the dress shop in an hour and a half, for yourself, Ms Rosser and your mother, so don't be late," she continued – what, I thought? She had arranged me a dress appointment?

I couldn't believe it but I decided to leave it there, smiling widely at her, as I ran back through the portal into the Glass House, merely five minutes after I left. Here, I wrapped an arm around Shane and kissed him, ignoring my friends laughter at this.

"She has arranged for us to get married on the 26th May in City Hall!" I screeched at him and he laughed, pulling me in for a hug.

"That's great!" he laughed, kissing me again slowly, in a sultry style. I remembered that my mother was present so pulled away before it got any further, smiling deeply at him.

"And we, I mean me Eve and my mum, have an appointment at the dress shop in about an hour and a half," I grinned, flopping back onto the sofa to relax for a few minutes before continuing with the arrangements…

We arrived at the dress shop with five minutes to spare before our appointment. Before we left, Mum finished the menus, Eve drew up the guest list, Shane had arranged a limo (I think it was from his friend Rad) and Michael had decided what music he would be playing at the reception – he agreed to be our musician for free, since he loves us so much!

"Do you have any idea what type of dress you would like?" the assistant asked me kindly, smiling at me. I shook my head shyly and she laughed before continuing, "Then just have a look around, dear, and try everything on that you want to. It's your special dress…"

2 hours later, and I've tried on dozens of dresses - taffeta, cream, longer, shorter, strapless, some detailing, plain, extravagent, simple. And still, no decision.

"This is ridiculous!" I groaned to myself, hitting myself on the head. How long would it take for me to find a dress for a wedding? Seriously! Eve and my Mum were a few racks away, looking through for me but I didn't like _anything_ either of them had brought me so far!

I made my way through yet _another _rack of dresses and stopped halfway through. My heart began to beat 200 bpm as my breathing stopped entirely. This is the dress. The dress I imagined myself wearing as I walk down the aisle. _My _dress. It was a floor length dress, ivory in colour, with a slight train but nothing unmanageable. It wasn't slim to my body, neither is it so puffy it was a meringue... More middling, I would say. Then the bodice. Oh, it was truly remarkable - diamantes litter it, with a purple belt around the waist to accentuate the difference between the sparkling bodice and the netted skirt. The dress was strapless and cut into a heart shaped shape at the top, tastefully showing my cleavage but not overly.

"Wow," Eve said as I silently show her the dress and smiles widely. Finally, she agreed with something I considered!

"Claire, honey, that is gorgeous!" my Mum cooed over the dress, pushing me into the changing room. Unlike the ones before it, I knew that this dress was the one whilst I put it on - as the satin slipped over my skin, I felt delight in simply wearing it. I closed the small, almost invisible, zip up the side and knew it's already the correct size for me. Slowly, I opened the curtain and heard gasps from my female helpers.

"Claire... You look stunning, completely and utterly," Mum commented, smiling widely.

"Rock on girl - it's amazing!" Eve squealed.

"Should I get it?" I want to confirmed that they're not just saying this to be nice: I really liked the dress, but I didn't know if it really was 'me'.

"Honey, you look amazing – if you don't get that dress then I am disowning you!" Eve laughed at me, moving over to give me a hug. My mum simply looked at me with that smile she gets when she entirely agrees.

"I'll take it!" I squealed to the assistant, who smiled before making sure it fitted right.

"You can take it with you now, if you want?" she asked me and I nodded; it's only three weeks away!

"Ok, let's find a dress for you, Eve, and one for you as well, Mum!" I laughed, pushing them both in front of me as we returned to the racks.

We searched for ages, but nothing seemed to be coming out. I then spotted a gorgeous dress for Eve and motioned for her to come over: finally we were getting somewhere! It was knee length (so no problems with her lack of co-ordination) and black, with red laced throughout it in a very Goth Eve way.

"Claire, you have the _best_ style fashion – I love it!" she squealed, rushing to try it on. She came out and even Mum agreed that it looked awesome on her – I knew Mum would come around to black and red!

I looked around the shop again before finding the _perfect_ dress for my Mum: it was knee length and powder blue, cinched slightly at the waist but simply amazing to show off her figure: she is young enough to wear things like that!

"I don't know…" she mumbled, until Eve exited the changing room, handed her dress to the assistant, before coming over to back me up.

"Mrs D, if you don't wear this, then Claire disowns you," she told her seriously, so seriously that my Mum believed her instantly, rushing into the changing room to try it on, coming out a complete glamour model!

"Mum, you _have_ to wear that!" I ordered her, her face gleaming with the entire beauty of her face and the dress and _everything_.

She finally agreed before returning back to get changed. In the meanwhile, Eve and I got hooked on the shoes – literally. We grabbed pair after pair, dismissing each one with a criticism, until we got to the last pair for me. They were about two inches high, ivory satin with a strap across the top which appealed to me. Eve made me walk across the ship to my Mum, who agreed with us that they were perfect – so that was _my_ shoes down.

"I think, in all honesty, we both have enough shoes to go with our dresses rather than pointlessly buying more," Eve decided to inform me that she didn't want shoes, something with which my mother actually agreed with her on… actually, they'd been agreeing rather a lot today, so I can't really say that anymore!

And that was it. I didn't want a tiara or anything fancy for my hair, and a veil was already coming as part of the dress, so the only thing we had left to do was pay.

"I shall get this," Mum said adamantly, handing over her debit card before I could even protest. How could I? I didn't have a clue how much they cost – still don't – but I know that I probably wouldn't be able to afford them.

So that was everything. In the space of only a few hours, we had managed to arrange the cake (Mum) the food (also Mum), the transport, the music, the venue, the flowers and the clothes. We had nothing left to get… I don't think we do, anyway.

Mum insisted on taking us to the café around the corner from the shop (_not_ Common Grounds thankfully) and she and Eve are currently chatting away. I don't know what they think I'm doing but I don't care because… _I have my wedding dress_!

It is a sad thing that the only reason Shane and I are marrying now is because of the fact he is dying, but it's happening. I need to accept it now, otherwise what will I do when he is gone?

But tonight… well, I think the next stage in Shane and Claire pissing off the vampires is coming up!

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**What did you think?**

**It wasn't the best I could do… but I don't like wedding planning… sorry. It's something that I've had to do too many times in stories, as well as helping a couple of my mum's friends as well -.-**

**Still, reviews would be appreciated.**

**Next chapter will be back to being the better stuff… I hope**

**Vicky xx**

**P.S… you know you're tired when you needed to use spell check to fix your name -_-**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**This chapter was SO hard to write for some reason :'( but I used my reobsession with The Script to help me through it – 'been excommunicated from every holy place' :P**

**I don't own anything…**

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_**Thursday 5**__**th**__** May 2011 – 11:00pm:**_

Dear diary

That was _fricking awesome_! Seriously, we had the _best_ time ever then, and it was amazing… it felt as if we were simply two rebelling teenagers, rather than two engaged people who are living life vicariously during one of them's last few months on the planet.

"So, Claire, what ridiculously crazy but amazing stunt are we pulling this evening?" Shane asked me with a smile, his arms wrapping around my waist.

"We, my lovely fiancé, are going to break into the vampire archives, steal a tonne of the more recent vampire books and such, and then leave some sort of trail that points towards Oliver," I grinned back, turning around to face him.

"That sounds absolutely perfect," he replied before kissing my lips softly. "Shall I ring Sam or do you want to?" he continued, and I felt a little awkward; after everything that went on with me, Sam and Amelie yesterday, should I want to have Sam with us? Then I felt guilty; he wanted to help us 'rebel' against the system in Morganville, so I ought to invite him even if I did sort of defend him yesterday without him wanting me to.

"You can – I'll make a list of the books we want, and the films, so we can get them straight away," I replied, not wanting to speak to Sam longer than necessary because I was still embarrassed.

"Ok, honey, go make a list – I take it that you've actually _read_ most of these books, since you went out of Morganville?" he laughed, and I nodded; they're not even accurate so why on _earth_ Amelie doesn't let us read them is beyond me! In one of them they're fine to go out in the daylight. They just sparkle!

"Yah, I have done, but they're not very good: I think, as there'll be more than one copy, we should get copies of some of them for Eve as otherwise she'll never stop moaning about not seeing Twilight or something," I grinned as I spoke before hearing Eve behind me.

"Too right about that, girlie," she said. "That copy I watched on the black market was actually missing the real people! I later found out it was a spoof! So if you don't bring me back _all_ of the Twilights, I _will_ tell Amelie that you did it and that you don't want her protection. Oh, and that you said she is a dirty minded midget who has nothing better to do with her time than to watch dwarf porn!" she continued, splitting her sides with her own _ridiculous_ humour which makes _no_ sense whatsoever.

"Yeah, Eve, because you are _so_ normal," Shane rolled his eyes at the crazy Goth girl who was now rolling on the floor of the living room, as if she had cracked the funniest joke in the history of the universe. "Yo, Mike! Come and get your girl now before she has a brain aneurysm – _what_?" he yells through to Michael before looking at me with an affronted expression… well, I think my face was betraying my shock at what he said.

"Erm… you know brain aneurysm and what it means?" I said, my eyes widening at this; maybe he isn't as thick as he makes out to be.

"Yeah, I'm not _that_ thick, Claire, I did pay attention in biology… sometimes," he chuckled, probably at some long lost joke that I most likely don't want to hear the answer to.

Michael came through and picked Eve up off the floor, rolling his eyes as she _continued_ to laugh: it wasn't even snortable, let alone still be laughing five minutes later… strange.

Shane moved across the room and picked up the house phone to ring Sam, whilst I sat down on the sofa and began to make a list of books and DVDs that we wanted to collect (a better word than steal) from the vampire archives.

Books:

Twilight Saga

House of Night

Southern Vampire Mysteries

Mortal Instruments

Vampire Academy

I decided that that would be enough books, as some of them are quite big, especially if we have to take two of the Twilight ones. So then I moved onto DVDs

DVDs/boxsets:

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse

Lesbian Vampire Killers

Cirque du freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Vampire Diaries

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Near Dark

Shadow Of A Vampire

Innocent Blood

Some of these are older, but the vampire market seems more focused on books or TV shows, rather than the film side – Lesbian Vampire Killers sounded crazy, especially since James Corden is in it! But since we got one extra copy of all of them – Amelie has like fifteen of _each_, which is a little ridiculous if you ask me – we're going to start watching them tomorrow as nobody is working.

Once I had compiled the list, Sam was already waiting outside, so Shane and I headed out to meet him. it was a little awkward for the drive to the archives, since we didn't know what to say, but Shane broke the silence by singing along to the radio in a manner that was _so_ out of tune that we all just _had_ to laugh at him.

"Claire, I just wanted to thank you for what you did for me and Amelie yesterday," Sam said to me as we got out of the car at the archives, Shane actually being tactful and walking slightly ahead so that I could speak to Sam.

"I didn't do anything but risk my death," I smiled, but he shook his head. Then he wrapped his arms around me in a huge hug and nearly crushed me before backing off slightly.

"You made her realise what her actions were doing to us all," he counter-argued. "She actually stopped still long enough to listen to me when Shane had also left, and she actually spoke to me…Claire, I have been waiting for her to listen to me for half a century and you manage to do it by insulting her. Thanks!" he laughed at the end, instantly lightening the sort of tense and serious mood we were in and I knew that he didn't care what I said to Amelie…

"So we're good?" I confirmed and he nodded, pushing me along in front of him like you do with a child.

"Yep, but if you speak like that to her again, you answer to me – okay?" he grinned again, once more making himself appear as if he were a pre-teen. "Oh, and she doesn't seem to be getting rid of the clothes that you gave her… maybe she is actually trying them out!" he continued, seeming happy that she was becoming more 'modern'.

We arrived at where Shane had stopped mere seconds after: the outside wall of the archives. It seemed impenetrable and I remembered that Amelie had used her hand to get in – some sort of 'magic', I think – and we didn't have Amelie. The plan could have all gone to pot then, until Sam noticed that there was a handily left open window on the side – books do need to be aired every now and then and I suppose that this was their however oftenly airing session!

Sam slid through first – incase there was a) any danger and b) so that he could catch us incase there was a fall.

"Shane, pass Claire up!" he called through the wall and Shane lifted me as charged, his hands lingering as he supported me on the window ledge. I looked down and felt horrified at the drop – what if Sam missed me? "Claire, you need to slide down and I will catch you, I swear," he continued, looking me in the eye with such sincerity that I couldn't doubt him.

I slipped off the edge and endured a few seconds of fear before landing in Sam's hard arms – not at all painful, for some strange reason! He then put me on the floor whilst I got my bearings – Amelie had even signposted the archives so that we know exactly where to go – and he caught Shane who didn't even care that a vampire was touching him.

"Ok, we need to go right here," I ordered in a normal volume of voice – if there were any vampires present, they'd know of our existence no matter _how_ loud we spoke!

We managed to make it to the 1970+ section of the video archives – much smaller than the book section which spans centuries – and picked up every single one of the DVDs I had on the list twice, one for the spamming thing and one for us to watch. Then we navigated our way to the book section, 2000+, and found all the books we wanted instantly; there were more, but these were the ones we wanted and to take too many would make it a little too big, we thought.

"So, how do we get out?" I mused, until Shane simply walked up to the main door of the archives and pushed it open, revealing the car park where we had parked the car. "Oh, of course, the door. How silly of me!" I laughed, taking Shane's hand as I passed him, leaving Sam to carry the three bags full of books and DVDs.

"Are you sure you didn't just bring me so that I could carry everything for you?" Sam grumbled, sliding the bags into the (thankfully) large boot of his car, the one that was filled with Amelie's clothes only two nights ago.

"Um, yeah, didn't you know?" Shane laughed along with Sam, pulling me into his side as we got into the backseat of the car. "Home, Jeeves, and pronto… I hope that Eve isn't still laughing so hard that we can't watch one of these films tonight!" he continued, evidently forgetting the point of this plan.

"Shane, we need to implicate Oliver to have done this, so we need to take the ones which aren't our copies to Common Grounds and begin to spread them about, leaving some of them in his safe," I said slowly, explaining the point of this mission again.

Sam stopped the car so suddenly we fell forwards and I hit my head on the seat – ow! I still have a bruise there now! "Sorry," he apologised, noticing our winces. "But you know Oliver's _safe_ code? I thought that there was like one person who knew that – Oliver!"

I shook my head, smiling slightly at my sneakiness. "There are two people: me and him, but he doesn't know that I know!" I explained, but not saying how until both of the men in the car gave me hard stares. "Ok, so I figured, people use their date of birth in four number safe codes, right?" I confirmed and they shrugged.

"But this is _Oliver_, Claire, remember?" Sam said, rolling his eyes. "He doesn't do _anything_ normally… even his attempts to take over Morganville are pretty strange!"

"Ahh, I considered that," I continued, a grin on my lips. "And after he refused to tell Kim on that video what his year of birth was, I decided that he probably didn't know it, or remember it… so I went to plan B. if the year of birth isn't used, what do you think is the next most common digit entry?" I asked them.

"1234," Sam replied instantly, but I shook my head.

"Four random numbers that you are partial to?" Shane suggested but, once again, I shook my head.

"Jeez, guys, you need to take lessons in bank robbery," I grinned. "The next _four_ digit number is… your _PIN_ number!" I laughed.

"The question is, Claire, how did you find out his PIN?" Sam asked me, evidently still confused.

"That was simple – I just hacked into his bank account and found out it all: for example, did you know that his middle name is Percival?" I said in a matter of fact tone, watching as their eyes widened.

"You hacked," Sam said simply. "Into the bank network… into one of the most secured accounts there, barring Amelie's and Myrnin's?" he continued and I grinned, nodding. "Jeez, Claire, you scare me sometimes," he sighed, putting the car into drive and continuing onto Common Grounds.

Shane, on the other hand, took my hand again and whispered into my ear, "That's my girl."

OoOoOo

We arrived at Common Grounds and snuck in the back way, not wanting any of the regulars to see the vampire books. Oliver wasn't there again – probably still moaning over the entire party – so it was easy enough to reveal the hidden safe (not even _going_ near how I knew where it was located) and type in the code to have the door snap open. Sam and Shane began to pile the books and DVDs in whilst I went through to the café and began to leave some of the others lying around, with a note saying to go in the safe (where there was also about $3000 cash) if you wanted more.

We snuck out before any of the DVDs or books got picked up, meaning that we were safe from suspicion. Sam dropped us off with our copies and Eve pounced as soon as we entered, grabbing Twilight from the box and putting it in the DVD player.

I'm writing this in the kitchen as I wait for the popcorn maker to make the popcorn; the drinks are already sorted – I'm not watching the film because I have already seen it, so I volunteered to go on food collection… I'm waiting on the call from Amelie saying that Oliver has hacked into the archives and began to distribute the stolen things… but that will come tomorrow, I presume.

For now, I will take the food through and pretend to watch a sparkly vampire… ciao!

Claire

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**Whatcha think?**

**Review please…**

**Vicky xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, thanks for the reviews! As always, much appreciated!**

**Special thanks to Charliee, as otherwise I would have forgotten about this daily update story & ended up wasting my night writing more oneshots on BITE CLUB!**

**I don't own anything!**

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_**Wednesday 11**__**th**__** May 2011 – 2pm:**_

Dear diary

I am _so _sorry for not writing _anything_ for six days: I just haven't had anything really to say for the duration of time. Literally, we have spent six days in the house (the only one of us to leave was Michael, as he went to both the blood bank and the supermarket for more blood and food – in that order from the locations!) and watched the vampire DVDs (and I read the books again at the same time as some of the films weren't very good) together. Eve took the week off work, but something to do with the angry phone calls and the way she slammed the phone down on the hook made me think that she has no job to go _back_ to.

She doesn't seem to care though – and I can't blame her. She hates the UC, and I actually guess that Oliver wants her back, for all her cheek; she makes damn good coffee (after Oliver, she is _the_ best, as much as it pains me to say it about Oliver) and brings in customers more than she detracts them with her witty answers. She will always have the offer of a job from him; the only catch is that she has to work _directly_ with a vampire… pretty much every job in town is connected to vampires, but at Common Grounds she has to work literally with Ollypop.

So what have I done today that merits a diary entry today? Well, we had rather a fun time with Oliver and Myrnin, telling each of them _such_ ridiculous lies that they actually ended up believing us!

Shane and I got up and were ready for 8am, since we figured Common Grounds would be near dead then, so it would be easier to deal with Ollypop on his own: he only works hours now that he probably won't see the college students who tried to kiss him… as that would be pretty embarrassing!

We decided that for this, we didn't need Sam tagging along, and he understood that, deciding though that he would go and sit in Common Grounds just so that incase Oliver got snappy (likely, since we framed him about the entire vampire paraphernalia thing – I'll get onto that in a minute) he could intercede.

About the entire vampire archives stuff… well, I don't know, but I think Amelie _probably _knows it was us but she accepts that it was Oliver. You see, the only thing that happened in those six days was Sam popping around to tell us that Amelie had exploded at Oliver for having the things in his safe, as nobody else knew the code for it. She, of course, has no idea that I hacked into Oliver's bank account information and from there nicked his PIN code.

So basically that boiled over without the effect we wanted, but it was enough to know that Oliver got very depressed over losing $3000 cash, as we think that that was money he had made on the side; doing what was what worried us!

But back to today.

Shane and I headed into Common Grounds (I think I may have to shorten the name to CG sometime, since it is _so_ long and seems to be written about most of the time) and Sam was sitting at the table in the corner, pretending to read but actually watching us. Oliver stalked us with his eyes from the moment we entered, his face entirely grimacing as he realised we were coming to him for service.

To annoy him further, we decided to sit at the counter, on the bar stools that are mainly for decoration as college students don't like sitting away from their friends and every single person in Morganville knows that Oliver is a vampire so they don't like sitting near him. But we _wanted _to sit with him, so that we could pass on our little messages 'from Myrnin'.

"What do you two want with me _now_?" he asked us, sighing heavily. "You made those students try and kiss me, you organised a vampire dress up party in my _café_, you stole vampire books and DVDs before then pinning the blame on me – how you opened my safe is a secret I am yet to find the answer to – so what _more_ do you want to do to me?" he continued, sounding sort of depressed but I figured that it was simply an act so that he didn't have to suffer anymore.

"We are doing absolutely _nothing_ to you, Oliver," I smiled sweetly, in the way that I did before when I was proving to him that I was innocent. I find it helps to have made him associate this look with me being innocent as it means when I use it, he thinks of me being truthful.

His eyebrows rose up his face slightly but he inclined his head for me to begin my message from Myrnin.

"But firstly, we want a mocha and a latte," Shane grinned at him, motioning for him to make the coffee, which doesn't exactly make Oliver appear happy. Yet he moved off and makes the drinks faster than I thought anyone would be able to.

"Tell me what the dog wants," he barked at us and I leaned backwards as he got a bit up close and personal with us: I don't particularly like being this close to one of the scariest vampires that still exist today.

"Um, all he wanted was to tell you how you are his moon, his stars, his everything – and coming from someone who loves the universe like Myrnin, that means a lot," I responded with a grin, knowing just how to play it so that it would be believable and get the right response…

Unfortunately, he doesn't quite have the time to get along with the entire 'oh no he didn't' rigmarole that normally entices, as then… then Shane took his first bad turn in front of me. I hadn't seen this before and it scared me; to see Shane barely able to breathe, looking as if he was in more pain than anything before, looking as if he was going to be leaving this planet that very second, was the most horrifying thing I had ever seen.

Even Oliver seemed stunned by it: he ignored the fact that he hates us and that we have been pulling so many pranks on him of late and came around to help keep Shane upright on his stool, beating even Sam who tried to do the same. He helped him breathe and gave him water, staying with him whilst Sam called the ambulance to take him to the hospital.

He wouldn't let me go with him, and I couldn't force him to take me. He told me that he would be home by two, two thirty at the latest, and I had to accept that.

"Why did you help him?" I asked Oliver in shock as I stared down at the mug of coffee in my hands as I sat at the bar. I couldn't leave, not in such a state of shock, and so I remained at the bar for the time being.

His normally hard expression was softened slightly, his mouth almost in a smile, as he looked at me. "I lost someone very close to me from the same thing he is going through; I didn't know it as cancer then, as it was a time of very little medical knowledge… though I recognise it now as this disease. I am not saying that it was this what made me what I am, Claire, but I am saying that if I see someone, no matter _who_ they are or what they _are tormenting me with_, suffering with it I help. Simple," he explained, and my heart almost went out to him… almost…

…the memory of him licking my blood from the wound that Jason caused in the UC years ago now hit me as this feeling almost rose in me, informing me that I shouldn't probably have been feeling it. Still, I smiled back at him in a sorrowful way until he walked away.

So I came home to an empty house and have been writing my little warblings here for over an hour, staring at the clock as I wait for Shane to come home. he's late… he isn't home yet.

What do I do?

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**So, sorry for the quality of this – it wouldn't work right, as I decided that it wasn't needed for **_**another**_** have a go at Oliver sesh… and we need to remember that this is a depressing fic and that Shane WILL die. I don't like Shane, so I am **_**definitely**_** killing him, so don't get your hopes up!**

**Review, please!**

**Also… about the daily updates… well… you see, it turns out the three geog exams I thought were optional… AREN'T. and I am getting another 2 hour exam from English tomorrow & I need to start my GCSE revision (more important than FF) so it may not be **_**daily**_** that the updates come, but I want this story finished this month soo…**

**REVIEW!**

**Vicky xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**So, I haven't updated for a couple of days because a) I have a **_**lot**_** of homework and b) I've got like 2 reviews on the last chapter -.-**

**Also… SHANE WILL NOT BECOME A VAMPIRE! just making it obvious that this is what will not happen!**

**I don't own anything**

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_**Friday 13**__**th**__** May 2011 – 6pm:**_

Dear diary

It's all falling apart.

He's dying – I can see it in his face, the way that he holds himself, hides away the pain from me. But he can't hide the shadow of it in his eyes, the haggard way that his face is turning, the beginnings of hollowed eyes forming.

Today, he went to the doctor. I don't know what happened, but he came out clutching a prescription which I later snagged from him to find out it was for the strongest painkillers that they produce, and also for sleeping pills. I didn't know that he couldn't sleep – I thought when I saw the prescription why he didn't he tell me.

So I exploded at him, entirely unfairly but not caring at the time because I was so pissed at him.

"Painkillers and sleeping tablets!" I yelled at him, brandishing his green prescription sheet as he looked at me in confusion from across the living room as to why I was so angry. "You apparently can't sleep and _you didn't tell me_!" I continued, screeching the end bit, as he flinched backwards from the venom in my voice.

"I didn't want you to worry!" he retorted, sounding quite worried and upset for keeping this from me. He walked closer towards me but I backed away, throwing his prescription at him.

"We are getting _married_, Shane, in less than _two_ weeks!" I reminded him sharply, tears flooding into my eyes. I knew I was being stupid, but I couldn't help myself. "I am supposed to be your _fiancée_ but is there any point when you don't tell me stuff like this?" I continued, sighing deeply.

Behind me, I heard Eve and Michael coming through from the kitchen and looking in confusion at what was going on. But I didn't care: I may have been overreacting but I was _sick_ of him just pretending to be normal. I knew, I _know_, that he is dying – that's the reason we're getting _married_, because we know he doesn't have long left on the Earth with me.

"I didn't tell you because, I… I like that we can still just have fun and pretend that we're normal – if I tell you, then you worry and we just stop the fun. It ends up just being all sad and sombre and I _can't_ cope with that, Claire, I just can't," he sighed, shutting his eyes as he collapsed onto the sofa.

I wanted to go to over to him, I really did, but I stopped myself. After all, if I did, then I sort of just relinquished everything that I had thought about, everything I had just said. I couldn't do that, for it would be like accepting that I agree with Shane about everything.

"I'm going out now," I told him sharply, not caring about what he thought or anything other than just staying sane. "I will be back later. Don't bother coming after me, please. I need time to think. I'll see you later," I continued, speaking slowly and in short sentences as I tried to just think through everything I wanted to say.

I slowly picked up my bag and jacket, slipping on my shoes as I walked towards the door. Nobody tried to stop me – it's as if they had just been waiting for me to loose it, almost, as if I have been too calm until now and that a breakdown just _had_ to be on the way.

I headed off to the park and must have just sat on the swings for hours, feeling the sun burning the exposed back of my neck but not caring because I was thinking. I was thinking about how my life was changing, how soon everything I had would go up in smoke: I'll have no Shane; soon Michael and Eve aren't going to want me hanging around the house, I'll be utterly alone besides for vampires who aren't ever going to age. Soon, the only person I will have will be my boss, who doesn't really care for me besides as a 'friend' and that is only when he can get something he wants.

Tears filled my eyes and burnt paths down my cheeks as I thought about this for hours, just imagined Shane's face, imagining how I am going to have to cope in mere months. Soon, imagining will be the only thing I have left to do.

Then I got a visitor.

"Little Claire, I don't particularly enjoy being out here in the sun but what is wrong?" Myrnin's voice startled me so much that I almost fell off the swing on which I was perched. I yelped as I turned around to face him, his lanky frame swathed in a thick black coat and his head topped with a fringed hat which covered his entire face in shade.

"What are you _doing_ here?" I hissed at him, wiping my eyes frantically to hide the tears he had already seen.

"I am here to see you, little one, that is all," he whispered, squatting down to look me in the eyes on an equal level.

"Actually, you look like a paedo waiting to pounce on one of these little kids," I giggled at the absurdity of it, him smiling despite himself.

"That may be other's styles, but I am simply concerned as to why my assistant and friend is so down," he said, pulling me up effortlessly and dragging me towards the building across the road, which I recognise to be the back entrance to Common Grounds. Why do I pretty much _live_ in this shop now? "Come on, Claire, tell me," he pressed as we walked into Oliver's empty office.

Myrnin, of course, had to sit in Oliver's chair so that when he comes in later he will be pissed off – that's just Myrnin. I sat down opposite him and managed to make a small smile but it didn't get me anywhere. "Myrnin, he's dying and I just can't accept that he won't _tell_ me anything about when he is in pain or _anything_," I broke down and just let it spill out of me. "I can't cope with him keeping quiet as it makes everything so much harder and I wish he would just _tell me_, but he won't!"

He studied me with an intense expression, before nodding slowly, evidently finding something that he expected.

"Last time I checked, he was male," he commented, making me confused.

"Yeahhhhh," I said, not really understanding the context of his statement, until he continued.

"Well, you see little Claire, men don't like showing their weaknesses to the women they are supposed to be protecting, or are with, for they think it makes them look weak and they fear their woman will leave them," he continued his thought and it clicked into my head. He doesn't want to hurt me by telling me, but he doesn't want to appear weak either – of course, he would have to be a masochistic manly man, wouldn't he? Couldn't I have gotten a man who was in touch with his feelings and told me everything I want to hear?

I asked Myrnin this, and he burst out into huge guffaws of laughter, shaking his head. "They don't exist Claire… unless they're gay… in which case, Oliver should be perfect for the job!" he chortled at his own desiccation of Oliver, who wasn't even there to defend himself… there's a difference between insulting someone to their face and insulting them behind their back.

"I heard that," a dry voice came from the door, and I realised that Oliver _had_ heard, that he was present. His focus came to me and I shrunk back from his glance before realising it seemed… soft. "Claire, there is a mocha out there for you. I have unfinished business with this moronic baboon here," he told me, smiling slightly (WTF?) before turning back to Myrnin with a grimace.

I couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough. I smiled at him on the way out (scary thought, smiling at Oliver optionally) and ran out into the bar and began to drink the mocha.

So here I am, writing this all down now before I forget it when I return to Shane. I've been out for hours, but true to my request, nobody has phoned me or ran after me or anything. But the story will be different after dark – and it will be dark in an hour.

So I should finish my coffee and go home. go home to my fiancé. Go home to my Shane, my dying lover.

I need him.

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**Whatcha think?**

**Sorry, more depressing than usual but I decided that humour could wait another chapter (and the amount of crack fics/fics with my own characters in have basically taken every ounce of humourority out of me)**

**Review, please!**

**Vicky xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own anything**

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_**Friday 27**__**th**__** May 2011 – 11am:**_

Dear diary

I'M MARRIED! I know, I can't believe it myself! It seems so unreal to be able to call myself Mrs Claire Collins. Shane is still asleep at the minute, hence why I am writing this and remembering every detail of my absolutely _perfect_ wedding.

The day…

Well, yesterday morning, I got up at about seven am, unable to sleep. Shane and Michael had stayed out at Sam's apartment so that the entire 'no seeing each other before the ceremony' thing was kept.

"CB, you need to eat something – you don't want to collapse on your big day," Eve prodded me onwards towards the food in the kitchen as I sat down on the kitchen stool at the ridiculously early time. Well… it was for me now, since I finished school so I don't have to get up until whenever I want to. The past week has just been chilling with me and Shane, both of us ignoring the knowledge that he will be dying soon and simply focusing on the wedding which we had yesterday.

"Fine, what food are you capable of cooking _without_ blowing the entire house up?" I asked, slightly crabbily but that was only the pre wedding jitters. Everyone gets them, so I was told by _every_ single married person I unfortunately bumped into since I got engaged.

She only laughed at me and poured a huge mug of coffee, adding a tonne of milk and sugar to make it almost overflow. I could tell instantly that it was for me – Eve only puts sugar (rarely) in her coffee – and reached out to take it with a small smile.

"You can have waffles," she said with a grin, turning back to the stove where it turns out she was already making the things for my breakfast, even though I never said that I wanted them.

"Can I?" I laughed, playing along because I felt mean for snapping at her before. "What if… oh god, what if my dress doesn't fit?" I suddenly had a case of panic attack nerves (that were entirely unnecessary the actions about to ensue proved) about all the crap I had eaten in the last few weeks having caused me to have put on a ridiculous amount of weight to make me too fat for my dress.

This actually made Eve turn around and raise her eyebrows at me in utter objection to what I had said, apparently. "Hon, you are about as fat as a pea is tall," she used a rather _strange_ analogy to explain what she thought about my weight. "Go ahead and try on the dress if you want, I'm telling you it will fit absolutely perfectly," she shrugged her shoulders, licking the wooden spoon as she spoke which made me gag.

I deliberated over whether or not I could trust Eve's judgement for a few seconds before coming to a conclusion as to which way I would go.

"I'll be back in five," I said quickly, pushing my coffee to the side as I sprinted out of the room and up the stairs towards the wardrobe in Eve's room. This was where we stored my wedding dress (and Eve's dress) so that Shane couldn't go snooping, not that he would probably want to. The only reason he went upstairs was to go puke or go to bed with me. He used the downstairs bathroom mainly.

I opened the door and revealed the beautiful wedding dress that was _mine_; the one thing that I knew _absolutely_ suited me in my wardrobe – even though it was technically in Eve's. I slid it out of its bag and marvelled at the beauty of it before sliding out of the nightdress I was wearing and stepping into it.

I pulled it over my body and found that Eve was right: I could do the zip up easily and it would need tightening quite a bit with the crisscross things at the back to make it fit my body perfectly.

"I was right, wasn't I?" she sounded smug as I walked back down to the kitchen to see her. As I sat back down, she slid a plate of hot waffles and bacon across to me, a bottle of maple syrup on the side for me to cover my meal in.

"How could you tell?" I asked through a mouthful of delicious waffle and she grinned.

"I'm psychic," she responded, making me shoot her a sarcastic look. "Oh, alright, no need to play 'I'm the bride' card. I could sort of tell from the lack of 'oh my _gawd_, the dress doesn't fit'ing that it was fine: therefore that makes me _better_ than a psychic because I logically deduced-" she sounded like she was going to ramble on for_ever_ so I swallowed the waffle and interrupted her.

"If you don't mind, I think you should eat something to make sure that you fit into your dress as the excess of talking you are doing sort of makes me worry that your fabulously skinny ass will look better than me," I laughed to show I didn't mean it as she stole one of the maple syrup drenched waffles from my plate. "Hey! This is _my_ breakfast! I'm the bride, not you!" I exclaimed in mock outrage before laughing hysterically.

At 10am, the mother of the bride (ie my Mum) and the hairdresser arrived to make me beautiful. The make up artist Amelie arranged – I wouldn't have considered needing this but she was like 'oh, you need one – I mean _thanks_ Amelie' – is coming at 1pm so it's all arranged so that I will be ready for 3pm, when the wedding is. We decided it would _probably_ be a good idea to get married during the day since it's less likely to get stormed by vamps as they'll probably, _hopefully_, still be asleep. Skilful deducing here, no?

OoOo (**nb… sorry, but I didn't think a load of 'ooohh my hair'ing would be interesting as it isn't for me to write!)**

"Claire, you look _stunning_!" my Mum proclaimed with a tear in her eye as she surveyed my final appearance. Loose brown curls framed my face, with my makeup entirely natural style. The dress fitted to perfection and when I stood with Eve, it really felt like I was getting married.

"Thanks, Mum," I said with a frog in my throat that showed the emotion I was feeling. I was just managing to hold back the tears, remembering that it was a _happy_ day and that I shouldn't be feeling sad. "I'll see you at the City Hall, okay?" I confirmed with her as she prepared to leave to be with the other guests. My Dad was arriving in the next few minutes to escort me to Hall and to give me away in the ceremony.

"Sure, honey, I love you," Mum whispered, tapping me lightly on the nose as she always did when I was a little kid as she left through the door. As soon as she was gone, it really hit me that I was getting married and it rocked!

…

I walked down the aisle on my Father's arm, smiling all the way as I headed towards the man I loved, love… whatever. I won't lie; to see that he was gobsmacked at just how I looked shows how I must have looked awesome!

The room was filled with people we know and others that are more acquaintances. Then there was Oliver, who fitted in neither category but he even seemed stunned by my appearance. I guess that this shows I _can_ scrub up well!

"You look amazing, I love you," Shane whispered to me as my Dad placed my hand in Shane's, an age old tradition in the ceremony. Michael stood by him as best man and bearer of the rings, whilst I had handed my bouquet to Eve as she sat down, her role as Maid of Honour almost over.

"I love you too," I whispered back, grinning at him as I realised that I was about to make the commitment of my life to him. I won't lie – it was a terrifying thing. But we were both jumping in, together, and that was all that mattered.

"Do you, Shane, take Claire to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the marriage clerk asked Shane as we reached that part in the ceremony. "To love her and to cherish her, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" he continued, and the last fragment caused my heart to stop for a minute. Because we were going to be losing one another soon enough and that was the reason we were marrying, in a sense.

"I do," he replied firmly, looking into my eyes with a new depth of passion there. I wanted to kiss him right then but I managed to refrain myself… just.

The same question was asked to me and I responded in the same manner as Shane, love and adoration the only things I could hear in my tone – I think.

"You are man and wife," the registrar pronounced with a smile. "You may now kiss the bride." And that is what Shane did: his hand not entwined with mine wrapped around my back to pull me closer to him as his lips sank to be on a level equal with my own. I kissed him back and the sparks flew everywhere as everyone applauded… but everything besides Shane span out into the distance as I focused entirely on kissing him.

Finally, the kiss broke off and I was promised by Shane in my ear that it would continue 'later'. That made me grin even wider than when his arm snaked it's way around my waist as we turned to greet the Morganville residents for the first time as Mr and Mrs Collins, in love forever and always.

From the wedding room, we walked through the corridor to the reception room which was decorated to perfection. Roses littered the tables, huge crystal vases filled with the beautiful things, whilst the food prepared by my amazing Mum was lined up on a buffet table. We had decided we didn't want a big meal – partially because Shane was no longer able to cope with three courses – so we decided to go straight for the buffet choice: and it was _definitely_ the right choice to take!

Mum had cooked a splendid spread and she had to give about three different people her number within about fifteen minutes. The food was devoured instantly and it was a good thing that mum had prepared extra as everyone was complaining at first…

Then it was time for the speeches. Shane and I had decided that it was a good idea for us not to do them as what would there be to say? We love one another and that we married because of this reason but also because he is dying and I am going to miss him so much? That wouldn't really work for a wedding now, would it?

So Michael went first:

"So, we're here today to celebrate the wedding of Claire and Shane, two of the most different yet the same people I have ever met," he began with a smile. "I still remember in high school when Shane would dig up the mud on the field at lunch because he was bored and made mud pies at the age of fifteen… but there isn't really that many funny stories, as I seem to be shed in a bad light in most of them!" he continued, a cheeky grin on his face as we all laughed at Shane making mud pies at fifteen!

"Mud pies?" I questioned him quietly and he smiled, embarrassed. He should have known that something bad for him would have been coming up in Michael's speech!

"Shane and Claire are two of the most loved up people I have ever seen," Michael got serious then, turning to face us with a smile on his face. "Their strength and determination has seen them get through one hell of a lot together and I can only hope that this can help them through the future. But, for now, to Claire and Shane!" he skirted over the issue of death, for which we were grateful, and raised his glass which was mirrored by the room.

Then Amelie spoke. As she stood up from her place on the far table next to Sam, the entire room went silent at the fact that she was speaking… let alone the fact that she was at the wedding!

"I have to say that when they got together, I never thought it would last," she confessed with a smile on her face, looking down at Sam in probably memory. "But they proved me, and a lot of other people, wrong. They have shown what a true relationship should be like and they have passed the test of time with flying colours. A few weeks ago, Claire asked me for something which I refused. Yet… I see now that I was wrong. Therefore, I am giving you a wedding present of tickets for an around the country trip for three weeks," she completely and utterly surprised me by saying.

EEEEKKKK was all I could think and we looked at each other with shock – Shane and I that is.

Amelie came over then to give us the tickets and she smiled at me with a sense of real feeling. "Amelie, thank you _so_ much!" I enthused, tears in my eyes that she was giving us the one thing I wanted to give Shane for his last time on this earth.

"I was wrong, child, I know that you will come back," she smiled at me with a sense of real feeling there. "I want to say congratulations and that I would like to see the souvenirs you buy upon your return with this," she then produced a credit card which was registered to her and had a pin number written on the front. "It has unlimited spending, though I would appreciate it if you didn't wipe out my funds entirely," she laughed – WAIT, I thought, _is she giving us money as well_?

"Amelie you don't have to-" I began, not wanting her money as well as the tickets.

"Nonsense, Claire, you need money to go around the country, no?" she confirmed and we slowly nodded, disbelief definitely the main emotion. "Then take it now. You are to leave tomorrow evening. Have a good night," she said before stalking off back to her table to collect her bag and Sam before leaving.

"Congrats, kid," Sam winked as he walked past us, grinning at Shane and Michael as he passed.

"Whoa, did she really just give us this?" Shane whispered and I nodded, a frenzy of excitement overtaking me. It was just so unbelievable!

For the rest of the night, we basically danced, rested, danced, and rested. It was truly the most incredible night of our lives. We left at about 1am in a limousine that took us back home (Eve and Michael were staying out, thank GOD) and then we proceeded to continue the night antics… it was truly the bestest day of my life…

AND TONIGHT WE ARE GOING AROUND AMERICA!

I cannot wait… but first, I have to wake my husband up! Speak later!

Claire

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**Whatcha think? Sorry it was a little jumpy, there was just so much to put in!**

**Review please!**

**Vicky xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**VINTAGEhearts, there is a **_**reason**_** why Shane can't be a vampire – I think it will be explained in the next chapter.**

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_**Sunday 12**__**th**__** June – 7am:**_

Dear diary,

The last three weeks have been magical, pure heaven on earth. I can't believe how much of the country I had missed out on seeing in my short life – outside of Texas, I had been to Washington DC and that was it. Shane had been to, well, Morganville and then a few places with his parents when they left but he hadn't really gotten the chance to appreciate it with, you know, the entire 'vampires murdering his mother' thing that they had going on.

But I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO PACK MY DIARY! I was _so_ annoyed with myself when I went to go and write about our time in New York (the first place we decided to go to) and I found a space where my diary had been allocated space. Then I remembered when I wrote about our wedding day the morning that we went on honeymoon and how I placed my diary on the table… when I returned home yesterday, I raced upstairs to confirm it was there and it was.

So what did we do over the last three weeks? Well, firstly we went to New York and we visited like _everywhere_ there was to visit: we had breakfast at Tiffany's, visited Roosevelt Island, went to the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building… everywhere you could _want_ to visit, we did. I even went to a baseball game that Shane wanted to go to (the team we supported lost… it wasn't good) because I wouldn't let him go ice-skating – cancer patient plus ice is not a good idea, especially when you throw sharp skates into the equation.

Then we went to Las Vegas, and if we hadn't have had Amelie's credit card, I wouldn't know _what_ we would have done. From Las Vegas, we went to Miami, Los Angeles and every other major city in the country. I can't even _begin_ to name every place we went to or what we did because I would be here for another year: this is the reason why I ought to have taken my diary with me, so that I didn't forget anything… not that we didn't take enough pictures. Seriously, I think we filled a memory card every place we went to, we took so many!

It'll be something for me to have to remember Shane when he has gone because, I have to admit it, he isn't going to be here forever. Neither am I, but at least my D-Day is (hopefully) decades ahead of his meagre months… I don't think… oh my god, there is only about two and a half months left! How will I co-

…

Sorry, I had to put my diary under the newspaper: Michael came into the kitchen and I didn't particularly want him reading it. After all, a diary is private and it's only filled with my ramblings about how much I am going to miss Shane. This will be my sort of reminder of everything that we have done together, along with the scrapbook I'm going to make from our honeymoon.

"You ok?" Michael asked me as he entered the kitchen and poured himself a mug of coffee from the pot I prepared.

"Yeah, fine," I grinned back, hiding the fear I was feeling underneath the slightly manic smile I flashed him.

"Whoa, you're browner than a Brazilian monkey!" he exclaimed as he caught sight of my face for the first time since I returned: last night, we went straight to bed because we were so tired but he was out anyway.

"I have been told that… I think," I frowned, trying to remember if what the dude in L.A said was that or something similar. This only succeeded in making Michael laugh loudly and ruffle my hair.

"How was he?" he asked me and I knew that he was talking about the cancer. I sighed and he hugged me, this being the only thing that held the tears in.

"He… it was fine, the only time he looked unwell in front of me was when we were in Miami… but he disappeared sometimes and I think it was that," I whispered, afraid my voice would crack if I spoke any louder.

Michael hugged me tighter for a moment before releasing me and heading for the door. "I'm gonna go and get a shower and then I'll see if he's getting up, okay?" he smiled at me and I nodded, thankful that he would see Shane. When I left him this morning, his face… it still haunts me now: it was so contracted in pain; it made me think _I_ was in pain as well.

But back to what I was saying before, about Shane. He doesn't have long left and I don't think we can carry on with the pranks anymore – he doesn't have the energy. He needs to relax… and I think we just need to be together, more than anything.

_**3pm**_

Oh my god…. Just after I put the pen down and left my diary, Michael yelled for me to come upstairs: evidently he had already showered and dressed and went to wake up Shane.

"What is it?" I asked as I raced up the stairs and into mine and Shane's room, my heart pounding. There was a part of me that expected him to say that Shane wasn't waking up and that he was dead.

"Call an ambulance," he ordered me as he got Shane into the recovery position. Eve was out somewhere so she didn't know, but I picked up my phone with shaking hands and dialled for an ambulance to come. Then I moved across to look at Shane: his face was drawn and bone white, paler than Michael's skin, and there was something so pained about his expression that it blew the one from earlier out of the window.

"Go and let them in, Claire, you shouldn't see this," Michael, once again, ordered me but I was divided. Part of me wanted to stay with my husband, to stay with the man I love, but part of me couldn't bear to see him like that and wanted to get the hell away. "GO!" he screamed at me and that was what made me go. Seeing Michael react like that made me know that it must be bad, whatever was going on, so I left.

Mere minutes later, the ambulance arrived and I told them where he was before curling back up on the sofa. I couldn't believe that this was happening: we had only _just_ gotten back from honeymoon - we still haven't even unpacked and this had happened!

"You coming, Claire?" Michael asked me as Shane was wheeled down on a trolley by the ambulance crew, who were already hurrying to the ambulance. I nodded, knowing I definitely couldn't stay in the house alone, and Michael picked me up from the sofa and carried me out to the ambulance. We got in the back but couldn't sit anywhere near Shane because the… the ambulance person was injecting him with so many different things; it was as if they didn't know what was wrong with him.

"What's happened?" I whispered to nobody in particular, I only wanted an answer. But the ambulance dude ignored me and Michael only held me tighter in comfort with one hand, the other frantically texting Eve to tell her where we were heading. I couldn't move or do anything – I was catatonic with fear for Shane. Sitting here by his bedside, waiting for him to awaken, I still almost am, besides for my hand on the paper.

Driving like a lunatic, we arrive at the hospital in less than five minutes, there already being a team ready to help Shane and to take him straight to the A&E department. Michael and I slowly got out of the ambulance, entirely forgotten about – but I didn't want to be the focus of attention. That had to be Shane, so that he could get better.

We headed into the hospital and were told to wait in the waiting room for what felt like hours, before we were told that we could see him.

"He could be unconscious for as long as three days," the doctor told us before we entered the room, Eve still not here. "I take it that Shane didn't share with you the news I divulged before he left?" he confirmed, and the blank expression on our faces confirming this.

"All he told us was that he had an appointment here, but he refused to say anything further," Michael verbally putting this across.

"Then I shall have to tell you, for you need to know," the doctor sighed and I knew then that this wasn't good. "Shane's cancer is much more aggressive than Dr Mills thought. So much so that… we doubt he will make it into July," he revealed.

I couldn't accept it. I just collapsed in Michael's arms and couldn't accept that the ten or so weeks I thought I had, possibly more, is now barely _three_. That isn't right… I couldn't accept that whatsoever and my vehement shaking of my head confirmed that.

"No, no, _no," _I cried, tears bursting through my eyelids almost like a waterfall. "You're wrong, please… please… you _have_ to be wrong, please," I begged but the doctor shook his head but told Michael that we could go in now.

I couldn't move, so Michael had to lift me into the room and this is where I am now. I didn't move for a definite two hours besides to link my fingers in with Shane's before I finally found the inner strength to move. And here I am, writing my diary as to Shane's death now, him unconscious and Michael meeting Eve outside.

I can't have him dying. I wasn't even prepared to loose him in September, let alone soon. I can't have it… I need to be selfish… perhaps…

…perhaps Amelie can help me…

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**Whatcha think?**

**Please review!**

**Vicky xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**SO sorry for not updating for like… a week? Haha, it's because of the wondrous things called exams – ONE EVERY SINGLE DAY IS NOT FUN, ESPEC WHEN THEY ARE ALL 1HR+!**

**Thanks to all reviewers and also Hanziii and Lover of Myrnin: you know why XD**

**I would also like to point out that THIS is the original 'Shane has cancer and weeks to live so he asks Claire to marry him' story. **

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_**Monday 13**__**th**__** June 2011 – 11am:**_

Dear diary

She refused.

I never thought that I would say this, but I was willing for Shane to become a vampire just so that he would stay with me. I couldn't cope for him to die… I still can't cope for him to die.

But… but he can't.

This morning, around 8am because I couldn't sleep with Shane not there with me, I went to Amelie's office. It reminded me _so_ much of the time that I went to her just after Shane got cancer – or have had it diagnosed, since he _must_ have had it for so much longer than what he seems to have had – and asked for us to be able to take the trip around America. I mean, I went there merely weeks ago and look how everything changed.

I entered the office and though that it was strange that Amelie's assistant wasn't there to deal with inquisitive people who want to see the Founder. I think there are like three people in the entire town who are allowed to enter now without needing to have a wee chat with the damned secretary: Oliver, Sam and Myrnin. I have to have a chat with Bizzie if I ever come here voluntarily – not often that I do such a thing – but she wasn't there today so I didn't.

I knocked on the door hesitantly, knowing I looked absolutely _crap_: Michael forced me to go home last night, since Shane showed no signs of waking up. Michael stayed – since he doesn't have to sleep, at least not much – and promised that he would call me if anything changed _whatsoever_. But I still didn't sleep well last night and gave up tossing and turning about an hour ago, going downstairs and nursing a cup of coffee before walking out the door without even brushing my hair.

"Come in, Claire," she said loudly, and I pushed open the door carefully. My eyes were red and puffy, so much so that I could barely see any details on anything in the room, and I think that she already knew that something was wrong… perhaps she already knew that Shane's life expectancy had decreased by two thirds, if not more. I don't know but I most certainly wasn't going to ask: there was no need to.

"I need a favour," I jumped straight into the reason I was there, not bothering to say thank you for the honeymoon or the money – that wasn't the issue. Her eyebrows rose slightly at the brashness of me but she nodded and motioned for me to take a seat. I was careful not to sit in either the seat I sat in before – bad memories for yelling at her, something I still regretted – or the one that Shane did. So I sat where Sam had sat, hoping that she would indulge me in what I wanted…

"What is it?" she asked me, her hands pressed together as she studied me. It seemed almost pitiful, the way that she looked at me, but with more respect than that… it was as if she knew what I was going to ask before I said it, but let me ask anyway.

"I want you to turn Shane into a vampire," I said slowly, quietly, looking away from her. I couldn't look in her grey and knowledgeable eyes and see her reaction to her words, but I heard her standing up and moving across the room to look out of the tinted window at the rising sun.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Claire," she said after a long pause, instantly sparking a feeling of rage in me. I truly thought that it was her being selective about who was in 'her' race, who she wanted around to spend an eternity with. I was about to say this before she then continued… "I know you will be thinking that this is because I don't want Shane around for eternity, or because I don't like him, but it isn't," she continued, sighing deeply.

I looked up and around at her, seeing a soft and fragile expression on her face. I couldn't believe it, to be honest, seeing an expression like that on her face for a human couple, but it was.

"Then why?" I asked, in a voice that was barely audible. "Why can't he be a vampire?"

She sighed again and moved back across the room to sit in her chair and looked at me deeply, a sense of sorrow in her eyes. "There is a reason he cannot be a vampire. You see, his blood has been addled by the disease. His internal organs are irreparable… he cannot be turned into a vampire and sustain his life. He just isn't strong enough. You see, I tried to do this for another human sufferer of cancer – of course; it was before they knew it was called cancer. I tried to turn them, to stop their suffering, to lengthen their life, but it didn't work. You are a scientist; I am sure you can understand why," she said slowly, looking me in the eye with a sense of sincerity.

I knew, at that moment, that she was telling the truth, that she didn't care about it being Shane I wanted turning into a vampire but simply that she _couldn't_.

"I guess I see how," I sighed, realising that the deprivation of strength in his internal organs would mean that they wouldn't survive the turning. "He wouldn't survive the vampire gene taking over his body," I said calmly, still unable to believe that vampires exist, that I could discuss them and the way that they form so easily.

"Exactly," Amelie agreed with me, shutting her eyes and placing her hands on her hair. She almost made me feel sorry for her, even if I should be feeling sorry for me or Shane – definitely the latter! "I am sorry, Claire, but I cannot do anything but provide comforts for him, whatever he desires," she continued, basically telling me that she would bankroll anything for Shane… I don't know whether or not he is going to be able to come home from hospital, so he needs to get everything there – I still don't know right now.

"Thank you," I whispered before standing up and moving to the door. "I'll see you later, Amelie," I continued, heading through the door and down to the lobby and heading out into the sun. the joyous rays didn't do anything to help raise my mood, which had been thrown down to the deepest ring of hell when Amelie told me that Shane couldn't become a vampire.

I headed home as I knew that I shouldn't be at the hospital – they told me yesterday that they would be doing some rather unpleasant things this morning, no matter his state of consciousness, and Michael would tell me when I was allowed to come over: it was a choice of hanging around the hospital with Michael or the house with Eve.

"CB, what did she say?" Eve asked me as soon as I walked in, her face entirely make up free and red raw with her tears.

"She can't: people… people who have cancer can't be turned – their organs are too weak and they don't survive the change," I sobbed into her shoulder as she pulled me in for a huge hug as soon as I said the first two words.

"Oh honey," she comforted me, pulling me over to the sofa and sitting down with me. Here, she let me sob for what felt like hours, until I ran out of tears. Now, I couldn't do anything but sit there and wait…

My phone suddenly rang and I jumped into the air with Eve, both of us surprised to hear the ringtone. I scrambled to get it out of my pocket to see the name on the screen was Michael…

"Can we come now?" I asked him, not bothering with pleasantries as I want to see my _husband_, not be polite.

"Yes," he responded shortly, not bothering with lots of detail that I don't want.

"We're on our way," I said and hung up, looking at Eve. "You're driving," I said, reaching over and grabbing her keys before tossing them to her. She nodded and began to pull her shoes on instantly, rushing out the door.

We're almost here now so I am going to put my diary away… I can only hope that Shane is awake: I want him to be so, _so_ much! I want him… I need him.

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**Whatcha think?**

**Please review! I am not updating unless Hanziii reviews at least 15 things, so tell her to review and get a move on with it!**

**Vicky xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

**It has taken me 2 hours, almost, to actually open this document to begin to write this chapter!**

**I don't own anything**

**TWO reviews last chapter? Sheesh, that's down a LOT!**

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_**Monday 13**__**th**__** June – 11:30pm**_

Dear diary

Just back from the hospital. I tried to stay there all night but Michael, after being ordered to get me out of there by the nurses, persuaded me to come home with him and Eve.

"Claire, he's asleep – nothing is going to change in the next few hours," he argued with me and, after fifteen minutes solidly of this, I relented to go home. The nurses have _strict_ orders that if _one thing_ changes with his condition that they call me and what with me being Amelie's 'pet', I doubt that they would dare _not_ do so.

So here I am, sitting in our room with my pen poised over the paper, wondering what I can write about this day with Shane…

He didn't wake up till about 12pm, his eyes fluttering for a few moments as his breathing seemed to get much more laboured. It confused me, that, because I thought it was supposed to be easier for him when he was awake… but I don't know because I'm not an expert.

"Hey, baby," I said as his eyes locked in on my tear stained face, his hand squeezing mine back.

"You gonna give me a kiss?" he asked straight away, a cheeky grin sliding straight onto his face. Despite the pallor of his skin and the evidence that he _isn't_ ok, I managed to kid myself that he _was_ ok and that this was just the climax of one of his normal escapades that ended in hospitalisation.

So I leant over and pressed my lips to his softly, smelling his Shane smell that only he has. It's the most wonderfully perfect smell that there is in this world and right then I could have stayed there forever.

"Hey, mate," Michael said as I let Shane go, he and Eve moving closer to Shane. My husband smiled at his best friend, Michael, albeit extremely weakly, and reached out to do their usual greeting but failed in strength midway through. He collapsed back onto his pillows, releasing my hand as he curled up slightly as the pain hit him in waves.

I'm ashamed to say that I just sat there. I couldn't cope with it. I didn't know what to do! I'm fricking 19 – why the _hell_ should I know how to deal with someone dying? But I couldn't move: I was frozen there whilst Michael helped Shane through the pain and Eve got a nurse. I couldn't do a single thing. I couldn't move a damned _muscle_ to help him and he needed me! I have maybe three weeks with him, most likely less than that, and I just sat there.

He was sorted out quickly, though, with a large dose of morphine put into his IV drip so that it would tide him over for a bit longer. Once he adjusted to this, he reached over and took my hand to drag me onto the bed to sit next to him, as close as it was possible for me to get to him. Here, I curled up in a ball and let him put his arm around me as I just breathed in his smell, not moving whatsoever.

Michael and Eve excused themselves to go to the café to let me and Shane be alone and I realised, with a pang of irony, that _right then_ we ought to have been sitting like that in our room. It _wasn't fair_! Nothing of the past two months ought to have happened – not yet, at least.

"Honey," he played with my hair to make me look up at him, me furiously wiping the tears from my eyes so that I could look into his eyes without the droplets distorting the image of his face. I tried to rememorise his face but to change it back to how it was when we were on holiday, the colour of his face golden brown and utterly perfect.

Since coming back here, he seemed to have turned the colour of a vampire.

"Yes?" I questioned as I turned around to look him fully in the face, to see what he wanted.

"Claire, I love you with all my heart and… and if I go before they said I will, I want you to know that the only person I ever loved. Leaving you will-" he could have gone on further but I cut across him, not able to listen to anymore from him.

"If you do not stop that _right now_, I am going to leave," I told him sharply, it hurting me to do so but doing it anyway. "It's already ripping me to pieces, you leaving me, never mind you going on and on and _on_ about how much you will miss me. Shane, please, don't do it… every single part of me will miss you every single second of my life. But for now, can we just… can we just pretend, as far as possible, that everything is normal?" tears broke through as I spoke and I could barely continue. Only his hands on my skin made me think that I could carry on, the hope for a couple more weeks of normality between us driving me on with my speech.

He nodded slowly, his own eyes filled with tears as he pulled me in close to him, resting my head on his chest. I could hear the steady heartbeat through his chest, the rhythm of the blood pumping through his body one of the things that finally let me drop off to sleep in his arms.

For a couple of hours, I don't know exactly how long, I had a respite. For those hours, in my dreams, I could pretend that we were just Shane and Claire again from before, the Shane and Claire who had no worries besides for the vampires, the ones who wanted to eat us. We went back to our happy place, the time before hospitals and we could just sit at home together and be _happy_.

I woke up groggily and curled up around him, my leg covering his as my hands roamed over his chest. That was until Michael coughed slightly and I realised that I wasn't in bed with Shane; well, I _was_, but we were in the hospital and people were there.

I slid off the bed, although it was slow and unwilling, and fell into the chair there. Then, I realised that Shane was asleep again, his arm around a phantom me from when I was lying there.

"Hey," Michael said with a smile, his eyes half shut as he sat there. I realised that the sky was dark; I must have been asleep for _hours_.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked with a yawn, a pang of pain hitting my heart as I realised how perfect Shane looked… but also just how pained he looked. It seemed as if the pain was engulfing him – when he was awake at least he could hide it slightly but asleep, the pain was naked on his face.

"About eight or nine hours," Michael replied with another smile. To the side, I saw Eve curled up in her chair, sleeping as well – it seemed as if everyone was asleep besides from Michael… and me now.

"Whoa," I said with a small smile, leaning back in my chair. I twisted my wrist and saw the time was almost eleven pm; I had been asleep for the majority of the day! It seemed as if it was another year when I asked Amelie to turn Shane into a vampire – it didn't seem the same day. "What have you been doing?" I asked Michael, curling my legs up in the chair.

"Just playing the guitar till the nurse told me that it was going to disturb Shane, not that it ever has before," he smiled, evidently remembering the nurse asking a vampire to stop doing something. "Then I read the paper whilst you all slept… and now you have woken up… and apparently sleeping beauty is doing the same," he pointed towards a stirring Eve who opened her eyes to look at us sleepily.

I tried to stay for much longer but then a nurse came in and told us to go home. I didn't want to go but Michael made me go home and I relented, so here I am, writing my diary.

I hope that he is still there tomorrow. It's sad that this is what I have to think, that he could end up not being here in mere hours time.

But that's what happens when your husband has cancer.

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**Whatcha think?**

**Please review!**

**Vicky xx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

**Thank you for all the support!**

**This is the second to last chapter**

**Two lines of dialogue in this chapter are down to Hanziii – guess which two!**

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_**Tuesday 14**__**th**__** June, 11am**_

Dear diary

I know the end is neigh. I know the fight he has been partaking in for the past few weeks is almost over; he can't keep it on much longer. The fact he can't even leave the hospital shows how he doesn't have the strength to keep on going much longer.

I'm sitting in the hospital next to the sleeping piece of perfection who now looks ill even asleep. Before, he didn't appear as ill as this when he was in the land of the unconscious but now… now he does.

I have been here since 7:30am because I couldn't sleep this morning. Of _course_ I couldn't; how could you sleep if you knew that these could be your last hours with the one that you adore? So I snuck out of the house whilst Michael and Eve slumbered, my diary in my bag, and began the long walk to the hospital. The air was brisk and the walk pleasant enough _if I wasn't going to see my dying husband_.

I slipped in through the front doors of the hospital, bypassing reception entirely on my way to Shane's room: I knew where it was so had no need to request directions. Amelie ensured with the doctors and informed me last night that she has arranged so that I may visit Shane out of visiting hours: he may not make it to the next visiting hour slot.

Quietly, as not to disturb him, I tiptoed into the room and sat in my usual seat, entwining my fingers in his as usual. Part of me wanted him to wake up, so that I could spend every second possible with him but part of me wanted him to sleep. He looked so innocent whilst he was asleep, as if he was back to being the childhood boy I never had the chance to know. He was all grown up when I met him, meaning I never got to see little boy Shane.

In the middle of my mulling over, he woke up. "Hey," his simple greeting startled me, causing me to jump up in shock. I looked up at him to see him smiling, evidently pleased he had managed to scare me.

"Hey, baby," I responded, reaching over to kiss him softly on the lips. Yet he grabbed me with more strength than I thought he had, pulling me closer to him to give me a _proper_ kiss, one of those utterly perfect ones. But it made me sad, the utter emotion in the kiss, because it was one of those ones which you only give at a momentous moment in life… or at the end.

"How are you?" he asked me as soon as he released me, his breath smelling of just Shane without any additions. As I looked in his eyes, I could see just how haunted he appeared to be, just how weak he looked. I could tell then, can still picture his face as I write this, that this has to be his last day here.

"Better now that I'm here with you," I responded weakly, tears dripping down my face already. I chided myself for being so openly upset, knowing that it wasn't helping him to be so emotional.

"Sorry, honey, that was _my_ answer," he grinned, pulling me in close again. Carefully so that I didn't displace his bandages or whatever, I rested my head on his chest and we just sat here like this for hours. I could tell the strength he used in the kiss had weakened him, so didn't say a word as he dropped back off to sleep, as he has been like for the past two hours.

About forty minutes ago, Eve and Michael came storming in, silent as soon as they saw Shane's slumbering.

"I _told_ you she would be here, Michael!" Eve whispered furiously at the vampire who seemed less of a vampire today than normal. But he seemed worried, rushing across the room to give me a quick hug before sitting down on the opposite side of the bed.

"Leave a note next time you disappear in the morning, ok, kiddo?" he confirmed with me, causing a pang of remorse to hit me. I should have realised that my disappearing act would cause pain to the people who have helped me through everything…

"Sorry," I muttered but he simply nodded, looking at Shane now rather than me.

Not long after that, he and Eve disappeared to get some coffee and to speak to Shane's doctor who came in earlier before they arrived. So here I am writing my diary… oh wait, Shane is waking up. I'll be back later.

* * *

_**Wednesday 15**__**th**__** June – 1am**_

That's it. He's gone.

When I put my diary down earlier, Shane opened his bleary eyes and looked at me with such intensity that I knew I would never forget it. I kissed his cheek lightly but felt my heart ripping apart as he winced at the gentle contact between us.

"Morning, baby, I love you," I whispered into his ear as Eve and Michael returned. They moved to the opposite side of the bed to me to let me be with Shane in a way, both of them smiling meekly at Shane.

"Hey guys, either of you two brought me a beer?" he asked with typical Shaneness, always about the alcohol. You can't imagine the shock I got when Michael produced a bottle of Morganville's finest beer and opened it, handing it to Shane.

"Tell the nurses where you got it and we're over, mate," Michael laughed, opening his own bottle and clinking it gently with Shane's. after the clink, Shane managed to find strength – of course he did; it was for alcohol – to lift it to his lips and drink down a good half of the beer before handing it to me.

"Hold it for me," he asked and I nodded, the tears streaming down my face as he spoke. I couldn't help it; something in his tone told me that he wasn't far away from going, that he wouldn't be here much longer. "Claire, I need to tell you something… I know we're together… but I should have told you ages ago… it's Kim I want, not you," he shocked me for a minute by saying until I looked into his eyes and saw the devilish streak of humour in his eyes.

"You had me going for a second there, Shane," I said with a smile, trying to brighten up. I didn't want his last times to be with mopey people – I wanted smiles and laughter, to remember his crinkled eye smile which was on his face at the time. "In that case, it's always been Eddie Cibriani that I want," I fight back, using the hot stuff from CSI:Miami to make him jealous.

He raised an eyebrow before replying, "sugar daddy then?"

"Nahhh, just a hot thing," I laughed back before tightening my grip on his hand. It felt so cold, as if he was almost dead, and I rubbed it to try and make it warmer and more Shane like. "I love you, baby, and I always will do," I murmured as his eyes half closed, indicating to me something that was going to happen.

"I love you more," he fought back before turning to look at the other two in the room. None of use had dry eyes and I didn't care: it was what happened and I couldn't change it. "Mike, I'm sorry for being such a jackass about the whole vamp thing when all you've done is protect us… and I hope you protect Claire for me. Eve, you're my best Goth girl and you'd better not let Mike here take all my top scores on the Xbox!" he made a weak attempt at a joke at the end but we all laughed anyway, wanting to make him feel better.

"I'll definitely make that happen," she said in response, squeezing his leg slightly.

Then it happened.

His machine thing began to beep loudly, causing a siren to go off.

His eyes closed.

His hand fell from mine.

His heart rate stopped.

"NO!" I screamed, gripping onto him tighter. "Shane, come on baby, you can stay here with me. Please, please, _please_!" I sobbed as medics came into the room to begin the fight to get him back. all the colour had gone from his skin as Michael moved around to detach me from him and to drag me from the room, kicking and screaming.

"Come on, Claire, you need to let them work," is all he said as I kicked him in the shins repeatedly, the door slamming shut. It separated me and my Shane and left me entirely alone.

I cried and cried into Michael's shoulder, wails the only things coming out of my mouth, as he carried me through to the relative's room. We waited for five minutes, me plotting my escape from Michael's grip, when a siren from outside the entire building distracted Michael. He released me enough to let me slip away but then the doctor came in.

His expression told me everything I needed to know; he was gone. "I'm sorry," he began but I was already bursting past him, heading in the direction of Shane's room. I was almost there when

BANG!

I crashed into _Oliver_ of all people, who held me tight to stop me getting past him. He ignored my attempts to fight him off, didn't even raise an _eyebrow_ when I kicked him in his privates, ignored my repeated punching of his chest. He simply held me and stopped me getting to Shane – _my_ Shane – and waited for me to sag in his arms.

"let me past," I begged him but he shook his head, tightening his grip on me until he was almost _hugging_ me.

"Remember how I had a friend who had cancer?" he asked me quietly, but I couldn't speak. I didn't _care_ about him; I just wanted my Shane. "Well, Claire, you have to accept that he has gone. He's not here anymore… he's in a better place."

With Oliver saying that, I realised that it was all over, that my Shane had died. He had gone and left me here alone.

And then I sagged into Oliver's arms and let him hold me.

Strange, huh?

..

Hours passed and I couldn't move from the same spot he had placed me in inside the relative's room whilst he and Michael dealt with things. Sam came by and sat with me whilst Amelie joined Oliver and Michael doing whatever they were doing. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything to help them – I didn't want to. I had the image of Shane laughing in my head, when he told me he wanted Kim, and I didn't want to replace that with another image.

Why am I writing this down now, in my room in the Glass House, the room filled with unwanted reminders? Well, I don't want to forget _any_ of it. It's all to do with Shane and I _never_ want to forget the man I love, the _only_ man I will ever truly love. He is the one I have always wanted and I got him.

He just died.

He's been dead since 1:59pm and it still doesn't seem real. 11 hours have passed but it isn't as if he isn't here; it's like none of this has happened and he is simply at work or downstairs. He can't be gone. I can't accept that I will never see him again. I just can't.

He is dead and gone.

But never will he be gone from my heart.

* * *

**So, whatcha think?**

**Now, Shane lovers **_**may**_** be slightly upset? Well, the only thing I'm upset about is that someone died… not Shane… loool**

**Review please & you can have the last chapter soon!**

**Vicky xx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

**LAST CHAPTER! **

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Writing this whilst I watch Wimbledon: I think the fact that I am **_**watching**_** Wimbledon shows how bored I am. GO ANDY MURRAY!**

**I promised this chapter yesterday but I went out for ages, so here it is today!**

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_**Tuesday 21**__**st**__** June 4pm:**_

Dear diary

Today… today was Shane's funeral.

It was absolutely perfect, as far as a funeral for the man you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. It was held in the church because that was where Amelie had arranged and anyway, he was getting cremated so it was deemed by Michael and Amelie prudent that the service was held in the church. I didn't care. I took no part in planning the service or arranging the cremation because I couldn't face it.

For the past week, all I have done is sit in my room and stare into space, being unable to accept what has happened. I ignored the incessant knocks at the door from Eve and then Michael until he threatened to break the door down to break me out if he had to. Then, I still sat in my room but had food dumped on me, being forced to eat bits and pieces and drink…

"You're going to kill yourself," Eve would tell me quite bluntly, her choice of words deliberate almost.

"I don't care," I had responded sharply, knowing that if I died, I could be with Shane.

It wasn't until the Saturday came around that I accepted that I couldn't do that; so many people in the living world needed me and I couldn't let them down by dying. I had promised Shane in the time leading up to his death that I would live life enough for the both of us – but that I wouldn't do so in a manner that would lead to my death. That basically meant that I wouldn't risk my life for the thrill of hanging out with vampires.

So, on Saturday, I went downstairs in the afternoon and took a bottle of coke out of the fridge and sat in Shane's seat. Michael and Eve didn't say anything but I could see them looking at me, wondering why I had come down. "What's for dinner?" I asked them, wondering what their response would be.

"Soup," Eve said in a surprised tone, moving across to give me a hug and, for the first time since he died, I allowed someone to give me a hug.

…

Though I had come out of my room, I still refused to talk about Shane or even mention his name. The games console remained off and the remotes in the exact place he had left them and nobody seemed to want to touch them. I just sat downstairs and smelt the blanket that had Shane's scent all over it, lethargic and catatonic. In a way, I reminded myself of Bella Swan from Twilight, when Edward left her…

… But the only difference was that Shane had died.

Eve didn't try and push me to talk, just sat with me in utter silence. I know why Michael told her to sit with me; he didn't want me to do anything stupid. I felt like asking him what the hell he thought I would do if I was alone, but then I didn't bother. I didn't want to draw any more attention to myself when everyone should have been focusing on Shane. So I allowed Eve to sit with me even though all I wanted was to be alone, to be able to remember Shane by myself and to regret everything that had happened.

The day of the funeral, today, came around faster than I thought: it seemed as if he had almost only died the day before rather than a week ago. It still doesn't seem real that he has died.

But the nightmares are real enough.

Every single night, I dream of his last moments, the way that he joked with me mere seconds before he died, the way that I saw the light leaving his eyes. It haunts me but… but it wasn't as bad as today.

I got up at about 5am because I couldn't sleep through the nightmare. I had fallen asleep on the sofa but someone – presumably Michael – carried me upstairs and put me to bed. It wasn't a welcome gesture either; all it did was make me think, when I woke up, that Shane was really still here and that he hadn't died.

I went downstairs and had breakfast, unable to taste anything but cardboard as I chewed my way through toast: I didn't want to collapse in _his_ spotlight and end up drawing attention away. So I drank three cups of ridiculously strong coffee and ate five slices of toast lathered in butter because that was how he had toast before Michael came down at six thirty.

He didn't seem to realise I was in here at first, even with his superior senses, and warmed his blood up until I coughed to let him know I was here. Either that or he was pretending not to know I was in there to let me have my privacy – something tells me it was the latter.

"Hey, Claire," he said to me with a small smile, one of the first he has given me since last week – _before_ last week, if I am honest. He moved across the room and gave me a one armed hug which I reciprocated, giving my first physical contact to anyone since that time.

"Hey, why you up so early?" I asked him as he went back across to get his blood out of the microwave.

"I always get up at this time if I need blood," he explained simply. "I could ask you the same thing since you should be asleep but I have a feeling that you've been up for at least an hour eating toast," he continued with a small smile at the amount of crumbs on my plate.

I blushed slightly before putting my plate in the sink, knowing I had to go and get ready to go to the funeral of my husband. As I put the plate in the sink, my rings slid further down my finger, symbolising how much weight I've lost since he gave me it. I pretended as if nothing had happened with the ring and simply scooted past Michael to get out of the kitchen.

Eve was still in bed, or in her and Michael's room, so I got straight in the shower, taking my time to wash my hair. I was still numb, as if everything hadn't happened, and could barely get my limbs to move. Yet I mechanically washed my hair, using the shampoo I knew that Shane had preferred, and got out of the shower after half an hour.

Wrapped in a towel, I headed through from the bathroom to my room, slamming the door shut to indicate to anyone who could _possibly_ want to come in that I was getting changed. Tears began to fall down my cheeks as I realised it was for _Shane_ that that rule was introduced, so that I could get ready without ending up with all my clothes coming off again. But I forced myself through, knowing that today I was going to be strong.

Today, I was strong for Shane.

I tied my dripping hair back as I rooted in my cupboard for something to wear, realising I should have thought of this sooner. But then I found a dress bag that I didn't have a clue about, spotting an envelope on the dress bag.

I opened the envelope to reveal a scent of roses which told me without even having to look at the signature that it was from Amelie.

_Dearest Claire_

_I understand that clothing choices may not have been at the top of your priority list, so I have arranged something for you. _

_I hope that it is to your taste_

_~Amelie~_

I ripped open the bag to see a long black dress with small straps, along with a pair of near flat black shoes. It was perfect for me and utterly perfect for the occasion, even if you don't _want_ a dress to be perfect for a funeral… especially the funeral of your short lived husband.

I dressed quickly and then spent an hour sorting my hair out so that it was long and loose, just the way that Shane liked it. Silently, Eve came in and helped me with my make up, making me look as good as possible.

Around 11am, me and Eve were ready and headed downstairs, I trying desperately not to let my shield down. I didn't want to cry… not yet at least. I knew I would end up crying at some point, but it wasn't appropriate before we had even left the house.

Downstairs, Michael looked like a perfect angel in his smart black tux, one that I recognised but I didn't know where from.

Then it hit me.

It was from our wedding.

I still managed to hold the tears back, however, and Michael supported me as he walked with me out to the car: it was overcast so he didn't burn, yet he didn't seem to care if he did. He was all about Shane today, forgetting anything else.

I sat in the front so that I wouldn't have to remember all the times Shane and I shared in the back, Eve taking my usual seat. We drove to the church and we were the first ones there, parking in the most shaded spot as the sun had just decided to poke its head out. It was for Shane; it was a last stand of commiseration from the sun for the poor Shane who died.

I embraced the sun for a short time until the next car arrived and I headed inside to sign the book. Michael and Eve had waited for me before signing the register to say that they had arrived. So I signed it 'Claire Collins', the first time I had gotten to sign _anything_ with my new name.

And it was for the funeral of the person who had given me that name.

By 11:30am, the medium sized church was jam packed. It was like Sam's funeral before he came back to life; people were choosing to stand rather than have to leave and there were even a few vampires. I knew Sam would come, and Amelie since she had planned most of it, and Oliver since his friend had died of cancer, but I would have thought the others would rather have stayed away. Especially, you remember, with all the hatred between the vampires and Shane. But lots of vampires came, those choosing to stand up as well – even though it was probably just to ensure that he _was_ dead, I appreciated the fact that they had arrived.

Michael, Eve and I sat in the front pew with Amelie and Sam just behind us. As I sat down, she leaned forwards and said, "I hope everything is satisfactory."

I turned around to look at her face, for the first time since I had met her seeming concerned for someone entirely, and smiled ever so slightly. "It's perfect, Amelie, thank you."

I wasn't lying; it was exactly how I would imagine a funeral to be. The flowers seemed perfect for Shane – I didn't have a clue what they were but they were so Shane – and it just… was. It was just how I would imagine the perfect funeral to be: well, as perfect a funeral _can_ be since you are saying goodbye to someone so close to you.

The vicar stepped up to the podium thing and began to read out information about Shane that Michael had probably provided: some of it was so funny; the way he tried to buy beer and he got denied; the way that he broke the remote controller he was playing so hard; the time in high school when he walked into German class rather than French and blagged his way through the entire lesson with what German he had learnt from the back of a packet of peanuts. Some of the stories were so ridiculous even I was laughing, realising at the time that I was crying all the way through.

He finished his speech and I stepped up to the podium, averting my gaze from Shane. I couldn't face looking at his body, so I turned to face the audience and attempted to mirror how Amelie was when she was standing here for Sam. I looked down at her and she nodded fractionally, showing that I was able to do it so, with a huge swallow, I began to talk.

"I know lots of you will have known Shane for much longer than I have and so will know more about certain parts of his life," I began, not entirely sure what to say. The nerves of standing up there, facing so many, hit me then but I swallowed them and continued. "But I loved him. He was the best thing in my life, I think, and we had something great. I am…I'm going to miss him _so_ much and I don't know what I'm going to do," I feel myself breaking down so make my apologies and step back from the podium.

As I walked back to my seat, I couldn't see a dry eye in the house. Not even the vampires.

Nobody tried to say anything else, not even Michael, so the vicar announced that we could go and see the body of my Shane. I went up first with Michael just behind me, Eve just behind him. He was wearing the suit which he married me in and the memories were too much for me. I'm slightly ashamed to admit I ended up in a similar state to Eve's Mother at her Dad's funeral, but I didn't refuse to be taken from Shane. He looked so perfect; I couldn't believe he was dead.

We headed to the will reading now, me, Michael, Eve, Sam and Amelie – Amelie was reading it. We didn't want a wake because Shane had said he didn't want one, so we respected his wishes. His exact words were:

"_I don't want to have a bunch of people I don't know or like drinking our beer and wasting our money, pretending to talk about how much they're going to miss me. Do me a favour and go to read my will just before you pick me up. Thanks."_

I was silent in the car on the way to City Hall where Amelie insisted on reading the will: she was right. It was the place to do it as, well, it just was. Neither Michael or Eve tried to get me to talk as we drove, for which I was thankful. It seemed surreal but I could finally accept that he was gone.

And that he wasn't coming back.

We sat down in the office Amelie had specified and waited for her to come in. only four people were in the will: me, Michael, Eve and Sam for some strange reason.

Amelie walked in with Sam after a couple of minutes and he sat with us, whilst she read out the formalities of the will, her eyes almost misty with unshed emotion.

"I bequeath to Michael, my longest friend, my games consoles and controllers and expect them to be played with daily… also, I hope that my debt for the last couple of games can be cleared," Amelie said, a smile slightly on her lips as she read the informal will – why would _Shane_ write a formally written will?

"To Eve, my little Goth, I leave all my chilli recipes and the honour of being able to sit in my chair whilst she decimates Michael… oh and my half of the hearse you bought," Amelie continued, smiling once again.

"To Sam, the only bloodsucker besides Michael I could stand, I leave your copy of Great Expectations you loaned me when I was leaving Morganville. Sorry, I could never read it," Amelie continued and we all laughed.

"Well, he did have the cheek of the devil!" Sam murmured, collecting the book from the box: I suppose since we live with everything Shane had left to Michael and Eve there wasn't a point of removing them from the house.

Amelie turned to me and actually had a small tear in her eye before hastily wiping it away. "To my darling Claire, the girl I love with all my heart, I leave absolutely everything else. Every penny I have is to go to you… I love you…" Amelie trailed off before handing me an envelope. "He left an envelope as well, containing a letter he told me to give to you when I felt you were ready to read it. This is the moment I think is appropriate," she explained. I didn't think I was but the fact that she felt I was gave me the strength to open it.

I decided to read it aloud, rather than being the only one to read it, and everyone looked surprised before reading on.

"_My lovely wife Claire Collins_

_I love you with all my heart but I thought I should add a couple of things here because I thought Amelie – hey Amelie, I don't hate you by the way… not anymore - may get bored of reading all this out… but since I got the idea that she would give it to you at the will reading – I don't have much to leave, by the way – and I know you're probably reading this aloud, I thought you should have it. I'm rambling, aren't I?"_ I finished reading the first part and looked up with a smile. Amelie was even smiling at her mention.

We all chorused a response to his question: "Yes."

Then I continued:

"_I guess you've all just said yes, haven't you? Well, anyway, Claire I wanted to say that I don't want you wasting your life on me. Sure, give me a few months to fill my ego, but after that, move on. Burn my clothes, sell them, whatever, but don't keep everything. Give Michael the job of clearing out the bottom of my wardrobe –_**Mike, do not let them see the contents of it**_ – and, Claire, just release me._

_You have everything that I want you to have already; everything you need is in your heart, or in photos. You don't need my junk._

_You have everything but Amelie, I _will _hate you if you try and dump my blood requirements on her or anyone else. _

_Love you so much_

_Shane xxxxxxxxx"_

I finished reading this out with a lump in my throat and tears dripping down my cheeks. Sam wrapped an arm around me and I just sobbed, throwing the biggest fit I have done since he died.

Someone took me home, I don't know who, and I just went to bed in one of his t-shirts, sobbing. It really hit home that he was dead then, really and truly.

And now here I am, writing the diary entry for the day that my husband was cremated. We're going to pick him up tomorrow and scatter his ashes in the college football team pitch thing. He always loved football but never got a chance to play it; he was always fighting.

Life is going to be hard without him, but I know that I can go on.

After all, Shane said I could.

Claire

_Claire's POV:_

I finish reading my diary of the time I was with Shane with a wry smile, marvelling how I was. It was six months ago now, when I wrote that, and everything is so different. I did as he asked me to last month, selling his clothes and emptying his room and now we have a new roommate – I suggested it because I didn't want his room to be empty. So now Lucy lives here and she is really nice; we're all friends.

But she has her own life as well.

And nobody could ever forget Shane. Nobody could ever replace the husband I have, the one who I am reminded of every time I look down at my hand. I work all the time with Myrnin now to forget him and know, if I wanted to, I could move on. But I will never forget my Shane and I will never give my heart to anyone else.

It is his forever.

* * *

**Whatcha think of the last chapter?**

**Review, please!**

**Vicky xx**


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